Why do I lose all contact with my friends and everyone är complains about my conduct and behavior all the time?

Why do I lose all contact my friends and
everyone complains about my conduct and behavior all the time?

Hi Coach

I have a question for you, and hope you can help me out with an answer on my problems.

I have lost most all my friends in my life now. And when I meet new people today I can spend same time and hang around together with them. But after a short time (around 6 months) they will disappear from me and from my life also.

I don't know now why no one will spend time together with me, or will be my friend anymore.

What people say and complain about me is: That I am lazy and that i not do my part of the work in school and at work, and that I am only will do the funny things, and that I never will helping out to finish anything that I have been started up on with nobody, and that I am lying about my personal stories that I tell about my life and myself.

.

I will not change my personal behavior against anyone, or how I am as a person to be friends with no one. I give skit to that kind of persons. I will instead leave that person then changing myself to try to keep this skitty bad persons as a friends.

So the most time the relationships ends up with that I say: - I will not be your friend anymore with you.

I feel like that every person I meet will get into my personal life, and saying things to me about my private behavior that I never will tolerate. I only following my feelings all the time, and I always will say exactly what i want to say to anyone, and I always do exactly what I think is funny and is coming up on my minds in just that moment.  

What is the problem with any people I meet today?

I hope you can explain and help me out with this, and how I should find and gets new friends that's like me how I am.

Best greetings

An-Mo

Hi An-Mo

Thanks for you wrote to me and ask your question.

It is always very easy to find and see all the faults that all adder people do to you.

But often people say and do things to a person. Because a person have show a behavior in a certain way against them from the beginning.

So if we start in a adder end of this.

Will you have friends that only do the funny things, and let you do all the boring things if it should gets done and finish?

Will you have friends that is lying to you about everythings, and not telling the truth about it to you?

I think you not will have this kind of personens as your friends or?

Therefore, you should look at how you act and behave towards those people that you meet today and your will have as friends?

Often you will find the answer if you try searcheth yourself first, and if you look at how you actually behave rather than them. Had you been happy and content to be treated as you treat others? And as you now are acting against the people you meet, and who might become your new friends in the future.

You write that you never want to and intend to change you as a person, and your conduct and behavior. If we look closely at this.

- If you always continue to do what you have always done so far. What has become the resulted? You have lost and have no friends today.

If you change your behavior and how you behave against the people. Do you think then that it is most likely that it may be a different result? And how other people will respond to you then? Most likely is the correct answer YES on this question.

Therefore, you should first consider whether you want to have any friends at all, or not?

And then if you decide that you want to have friends. You should start thinking about how to change yourself, and how you behave and should change your behavior, so they wants have you as good friend in the future.

And if you want back your old friends. Do you really need to apologize from your innermost of your heart, and show that you really feel ashamed before them, and for that you have been such a real asshole to them yet

Then you have to show by how you behave and through Your actions that you really have changed, and this is by making sure to take care of them and help them with everything they want from you.

So maybe you can get them back to friends again, and if you are lucky enough that they forgive you for what you have done against them when you quit munity familiar with them.

But this choice is completely free and there is only up to you to do it. But no matter which you choose you do, it will have consequences for you and your future life, and in any case for you.

I wish you all good luck with your choice, and this no matter whatever you choose to do, and this is because it is only you who has to live with your choices, and no one else.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

How can I deal with and overcome my problematic thoughts and behaviors?

Hi Coach

How does my personal actions and behaviors and thoughts of me anyway? And how they affect those other people in my environment?

On how do I deal with my various problematic thoughts and behaviors?

Greetings

Richard


Hi Richard

Your actions and behaviors reflect your values!

Your personal values, your own interpretation prevail, with memories, thoughts and feelings, logical intellect, your subconscious experiences! are several key components that affect how you act in different situations. What you perceive as an absolute truth / reality probably does not think others perceive it the same way!

Note
Your values are not static but may change depending on where you are in life. You can consciously change and prioritize among your values if you want to put more focus on values other!

Change of thinking

Becoming aware of how you think, when you think and why you think is important, it creates self-awareness. But it is also essential if you want to start a process of change for better mental and physical health:

Actively controlled thinking

You can choose to have a conscious active will-driven thinking, where you simply decide what you want to think in different situations. You can reprogram your thought patterns in various situations by thinking more constructive, more positive and think of self-esteem. You can then use the Visualization and mental training.

Let go of negative automatic thoughts
When the stresses of everyday life makes itself known or a too negative view of yourself and others dominate your sphere of thought it might be useful to use methods which you try to calm your thinking and learn to let go of these negative, often repeated thoughts, which destroys more than they help. You can use your mindfulness and CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy.

For a single diary of your thoughts life!

A first step to understanding yourself is to reflect on how your thoughts affect your daily life, basically every waking second. Test yourself and try to keep an internal log of how / what / why / when you think:

• What causes the tanks?
• What effect is reminiscent of your emotional state?
• When the tanks affects the emotions?
• When creating emotions in turn bodily reactions!
• When the mind is influenced by your surroundings, the environment and the people you meet!
• When thoughts are rational!
• When and why new ideas are born from an internal reasoning!
• When the tanks are repetitions of old negative thought patterns!
• When the mind seems to only occur of themselves? -
• there is a sense that lies behind batting
• with direct impact and creates the idea?
• How to control your health, your thoughts and feelings?

Self-reflection - changing the thought patterns!

A second step could be to start working more actively with your thoughts. In CBT - Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Mindfulness, Visualization and Mental training is the understanding of how and why you think a certain way very central: You can use different methods as what suits you:

Consider your tanker

Try to consider the thoughts and feelings that arise in your mind objectively in different situations and times of the day. Try to be a detached observer of the thoughts and feelings that caught you. Do not go into them, but simply record what is going on.

Analyze your thoughts

Analyze your thoughts and the feelings they convey afterwards. Was there something in the environment that impacted? Did you get some physical reactions? Where thoughts and feelings good or bad, positive or negative, etc. Do you recognize the thoughts, the thoughts are recurrent, they occur in certain situations?

Transform your thoughts

Decide then if you want to change your thought patterns next time these thoughts occur. It may for example mean that you do not let the thoughts dominate you, but that you are prepared and try to make them die by itself as soon as they arise, by accepting them without letting them control you!

Control your thoughts fully aware

Ends aware constructive thought patterns in various situations involving you need to think, feel and attain. Be observant and predictive. Control your thoughts and feelings more consciously. Use your imagination, thought and feeling in harmony.

Thoughts that are repeated reinforces tanks meaning than more, and until they eventually become realities in your life!

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

I wonder in what order that our various emotions come from, and where our behavior arises from, and where they come from?

Hello life coach

Sometimes it pops up just different feelings in my body, and sometimes I just do impulsive things without really knowing why I do them.

So I wonder in what order that our various emotions come from, and where our behavior arises from, and where they come from and more?

Thanks for all your wonderful response, and good help you are giving us here.

Greeting
Mrs. Brown


Hi Mrs. Brown

Your thoughts will always be ahead of your feelings, and before your actions!

When a specific feeling has taken hold within you, it must be born again to a new thought in a few minutes to persist!

Note:
Your thoughts are communicating in the body by affecting hormones like norepinephrine, dopamine and others

Left and right brain - personality traits and thoughts

Individually we are considered to be controlled by the left and right brain very different, anything that affects our personality and our habitual thought patterns and emotional responses. The different halves of the brain responsible for various personal characteristics that affect your ability to think. There, the left hemisphere is more connected to logic and the right intuition and interpretation:

Left Brain Logical thinking Detaljorinterad critical thinking Verbal, language Objective Term Rational Analytical Fact and knowledge-oriented Linear thinking, shape bound numerical Mathematical Scientific Symbolic reality based Strategic Safe Practical

Right Brain Irrational, random holistic Empathy, positive feedback visualizing Creative Non-time bound Subjective, irrational Synthetic (see picture) Imaginative and philosophical Holistic and intuitive thinking Spatial picture Vision Artistic Concrete Believe and feel Ostrategisk risk taking Spatial perseption (see Relations)

Figure: Features and functions connected to the left and right brain.

Test: Clockwise & Counterclockwise

Which brain controls you? see the movie from Harald Sun below.

If the figure spinning clockwise as a bell so the likelihood is that you are controlled by the right brain. Spins the figure counterclockwise, it is the left hemisphere that control.

Tip!

Try to get the figure to spin the other way than that which is natural to you! According to Yale University in the US, only 14% succeed in this!

Test: Fold your hands

Fold your hands and see which thumb you at the top!

Is the left thumb on top so the likelihood is that you are controlled by the right brain when the right brain controls the left side of the body and vice versa.

Note:

In meditation and deep relaxation so balanced halves of the brain and the right brain is usually when slightly more active then for about 10 minutes after the meditation turn into the more dominant left brain takes over again!

Documents and values

Your values are often the basis for your actions (behaviors). Values are often very emotionally charged! The documents to which you aspire is often your personal values and emotional foundation that base, if it is done consciously or unconsciously more. In all social relations, it is also important to recognize the values that guide us! Often you can be very ignorant of these values while they are very tangible for others! By this ranks your own values and learn to understand other people's values, of love and family relationships, at work, among friends, etc. you can create a greater understanding of why you and others act as they do.

Note

Studies have shown that people who are generous and create good deeds increases both their mental strength and physical ability!

Good actions will strengthen your mental ability and physical stamina!

The values ​​that each person is driven by light most often through. Write down the values ​​that are important to you! Prioritize them from the top down.

Examples of values:
Love, Trust, Understanding, Joy, mutual communication, Community, Sexual attraction, Respect, Development, Challenge, Assistance, Freedom, Power, Beauty, A healthy body, Efori, Honesty, Morality, Transparency, Efficiency, Accuracy, cleverness, Motivation, peace and quiet, Curiosity, Creativity, Moving intellect, Spirituality ...

Tip!
The interpretation of your and other people's values ​​are often subjective. For example, understanding the word to mean different things for you and your partner! Clarify why your own values ​​by talking and describe it in words and feelings.

For successful relationships so you should have common values ​​that are a high priority to succeed best, is especially in love relationships. By gaining insight into how your values ​​guide you, you can also increase the understanding of other people's behavior and learn to adapt to different situations and people in a better way, ie use of more EQ - emotional intelligence. You should strive to understand the values ​​that are important to you and see if they exactly matches your actions! When you shop on your important values, so are you really doing violence to yourself, which is not good! So be observant of how well your actions consistent with your values ​​and change your behavior gradually if it does not.

In the next week, and section I will go through. How your actions (behaviors) will be reflected in your personal values!

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

How and where will and our thoughts arise from, and how our thoughts affect us?

Hi coach

How thoughts arise, and why it pops up thoughts in our heads from not just empty?

How are we affected by our thoughts, really, and what force have our thoughts on us?

One who is thinking about this, and who wish to have an answer to this about our thoughts.

Suzanne


Hi Suzanne

Thoughts may well so often only occur by itself, it may seem, suddenly strikes the just, for no reason!

All too often reflects the thinking old problems or fears of various kinds! Or you repeat the old beliefs and patterns. But how often do you actively engaged conscious thoughts!

Situations reminiscent of past memories can be the trigger. There also seems to be a thinking process that goes on within you, ready to be heard. Your thoughts in turn triggers the time the feelings of various kinds.

Are you in that case entirely disclosure to yourself but you can not control or influence your thoughts and feelings? No, here comes the interesting part in that by making you more consciously trying to experience and reflect on your thoughts and feelings, accept them and through different methods try to create new thought patterns, you can even consciously reshape and influence both your mind, your personality and ultimately your physical health, you can also affect your inner dialogue.

That you deliberately create newer for more constructive and positive thoughts, reflecting therefore in your inner and your outer. You make a kind of reprogramming you themselves how awful it may sound.

"You become what you think!" (Buddha)
"Everything is energy!" (Albert Einstein)
"What you think you will be!" (Mr. Chris Savage Life Coach)

The tank inherent power!
The idea has a strong inherent power (energy) that are important to understand. We believe that we need to take responsibility for our thoughts as these often can seem to live their own lives within us, and do not have any function as long as we do not communicate them with the outside world. That the internal dialogue of constant thoughts affect our health as well as our mental well-being is now something that has attracted increasing attention. In modern psychotherapy, used methods that CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness, examples of how this knowledge has been incorporated in health care.

In various religions, philosophies, different personality doctrines, sciences and modern psychology, the importance of the tanks impact on our health always existed and been central.

The idea is a creative force which if properly used can affect both your mental and physical health!

In psychology, it is recognized and accepted that you think often enough and believe and know within you finally become an accepted truth, a self-fulfilled prophecy! Valid for your thoughts, feelings, values and actions in different situations - be it negative or positive! A kind of inner brainwashing going on and taken hold and eventually take over us! Even worse is that situations that you have not mastered and previously experienced resistance and known failure automatically turns on and is perceived in a similar way the next time you encounter these situations. The same is true feelings you have! You have already built up an internal resistance which now blows again. The same tracks played on the disc again may seem.

To remain in a comfort zone where your fears and failures may act can also be an obstacle to you alter yourself, you feel at home in these resistors and problems that affected / affects you and you identify with them so much that they become your enhanced self-image of yourself, with yourself and your surroundings. You are secure in what you have, but not in what you can get!

You and I always act in any sort of comfort zone, if you are ready to change your self-image and create a new way to see and act, you can usefully use the positive techniques, such as: affirmations, visualization, or simply change your habits and create new patterns in your everyday life and the sphere of thought by a decision to simply do so, the more difficult it need not be!

Negative thoughts lose their power if you do not repeat them!

Did you know that when you think positively then the left front lobe of the brain active, the same place that is active during deep meditation! Do you think negative is rather higher anterior lobe of the brain active. Research has also shown that if you just think you do a physical motion that affects and activates the same brain cells that are activated when you physically rehearse the movement, such as moving your fingers in a certain order on a piano! View and order The plastic brain: Keep yourself healthy, Educational Broadcasting.

Fears!

How good are you just being here and now, in the moment? Thoughts and memories creates feelings! And the negative feelings of guilt and fear can be so prominent in your life that they gain the upper hand, which can mean that you feel guilty about the past (your memories) and anxiety and fear of what is to come in the future! Ie you lose the ability to live here and now, which is not good for your psyche and your health in the long run!

Note
Anxiety is often due to negative emotional memories automated and which becomes active in certain situations / contexts, and a fear of the future.

Dependencies!

Addictions such as alcohol, drugs, mental health problems, with eating disorders, negative thoughts, of emotions, etc. sets itself not only as fuel but can sit requesting body clean physically, even perhaps as cell desires? It has been found that different receptors receiving signal substances of different kinds, for example drugs and respond to specific receptors in the body. At an increased abuse of any kind to answer these receptors worse after a long addiction with the result that you often have to increase the dose of addiction to feel the same satisfactions! Much like insulin resistance can work for diabetes type 2, though it is the abuse and addictions is about bad requests / habits instead that affects the body's functionality. That's probably why it's so hard to stop the abuse, and makes it difficult in the beginning, for example in cigarette smoking! The good of the matter is that the body can get rid of a desire and it is about standing out the first worst time! And with constructive focus, thoughts, feelings and actions, most balance and new identifications. See also Request - Resistors - programming.

Think you become dependent on your thoughts and feelings are negative?

Nourishing and Consumption!

In relationships that are out of balance, it may be that one party takes the role of the more nourishing, the more worthwhile sacrifice while the other party is the more Consumption is taking demanding! This skewed distribution can unfortunately become a way of life. All relationships should be based on a mutual give and take where each individual can grow. In poor soils it is better to try to understand, alter or apply for better chips ...

One way to break the negative thoughts is to learn the practice of mindfulness.

Negative thought patterns confirms just what you already are!

What then is the right thoughts? Simple expressions can say that it is all about developing more positive and constructive thought patterns and try to slow down and stop the thought processes that create repetition of negative thought patterns and ultimately in the worst case lead to stagnation in our lives.

Of course, one should have a critical approach to the phenomena of one's business environment, the ability to analyze and understand, ie constructively and consciously use a healthy critical thinking, a more objective perception! This obviously also on how we look at ourselves, to more objectively reflect on one's own behavior! For self-awareness and compassion.

It is when we let negative thoughts control us as problems arise. The idea is namely so strong that repetitive thought patterns alter and shape us all the more because, in time, create thoughts reflections in both our inner emotional life as our external life in terms of our health and how we act outwards towards our fellow human beings in different situations. In short, they affect our whole personality, who you are!

Next week I will go through and pay attention to your different feelings and your various emotional states, as well as being an optimistic or pessimistic person in your different ways of thinking.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

How can I find a inner peace in me and with my self, and at my life?

Hi coach

I realize that I have to start over and I need to find myself. Would like to go into myself and become enlightened, feel the spirit or God in me or just ... well, find peace and find myself. How should I do?

Should I eat something special? Know that many Buddhists eat very little and fast to find its interior. I want to learn to meditate but how do I start? Should I go for long walks in nature or visit a church to find the soul or?

I need your advice! How will I become calm, feeling good, travel within myself and feel the community with the world? All tips are welcome but I'm already a bit inside the meditation and yoga, I think. Something that also gives me energy! Should I surround myself of plants, incense and stones?

I am hopeful and grateful for your help and your response to my question here about how to find inner peace in me.

August


Hi August

You can be whatever you requires you to be!

Many believe that change is impossible, others take it for granted. Life shapes us through the years so arises easily stagnation so well thought action. We believe we often know best, but see everything as more often than not with clear eyes on ourselves. However, we are very quick to find flaws in others. Self-reflection becomes scarce.

If we are to improve our physical condition as this is done preferably by that we start exercising regularly and methodically. In the long term so improved our results and we must take advantage of our personal commitment. Why should it be different with our personal inner development, of course, we can use similar methods to achieve mental and physical health! But this is often our eternal self-defense in which says to us that it is either not possible or that nothing should be done!

Somewhere calling hopefully finally a warning bell that makes us awake and with a self-reflective smile might be able to laugh at ourselves, our personal problems, our shortcomings ... this might actually be a good start for change.

Why not come to self-awareness and courage to let go and start physical exercise your senses in the same way as you exercise your muscles and your body!

Mental health - to see the whole picture!

As a human, you have a free will to choose! You can choose how you deal with certain situations that occur, if you should interpret these positive, neutral or negative, if you want to expose yourself to them again or not! In the same way it is with how you look at yourself! You can actually choose whether you want to create confidence in yourself, create self-love and build a good self-esteem, or if you want to see more of yourself based on all the problems that you experience and that creates restrictions in your personality.

Several factors have been shown to affect your mental health: good diet and nutrition, and active physical exercise affects how you feel and indirectly your psyche, this is scientifically proven! Diseases also affect your psyche. Depression is almost twice as common in women than men, why? poor sleep, stress, imbalance in the hormone system also affects our personality, such as dopamine and serotonin are two important hormones for our well being.

Your personality also influences how you feel! Your personal preferences, your genes, including social factors are involved in shaping your personality. You have a personality, but you can also change your personality, it evolves all the time, depending on your experience and how you interact with your surroundings! By learning how to manage your thoughts can you practically actually change you and achieve better health!

Self-esteem! Decide to enjoy yourself! See your benefits! Release fear!

Many spiritual and religious traditions also believe that we consist of a deeper form of I of more eternal nature (the divine nature). This eternal I have many names, depending on the religious and spiritual school: the self, the soul, spirit soul, our inner eternal self, etc. In many developing personality teachings refers to this more divine inner self in personal development, in contrast to our outer ego that would correspond to the more changeable personality! Whatever you think about it, there are several practical methods readily available to achieve better psychological and mental health.

To begin to observe and understand your thoughts and practical use various methods to change your thinking is the key to better mental and physical health. If you are interested in learning more about different methods for active change management, you can use the methods described here: CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy, Mindfulness, Visualization, Affirmations, yoga, meditation, breathing exercises and mental training.

Thoughts that habit patterns!

95% percent of all the decisions we take, we do out of habit and without reflection. Ie only 5% of our decisions are fully aware! This according axiologerna studying how we think. According to them, they think you and I are about 40,000 thoughts per day! and there are more than 15 million different thought patterns! By learning to understand your thought patterns and even dare to change those who are not well aware, you have much of a success! By becoming more aware of your thoughts, you can also learn how to check different situations better, take the right decisions and develop to your full potential!

How are you thinking? What choices do you do in different situations? Do you think, and often feel the same way in similar situations? Have you changed your mind, depending on the different experiences? Do you often think negatively? How do you keep the negative thoughts away? you can see something positive in what may appear to be negative? Would another person interpret the situation differently? Are you willing to change you?

Resistance and habits!

At work, in social relationships, in practice, well in almost any context, it is some form of exercise, exercise, exercise, first of all to achieve good results as the knowledge, understanding and balance. When knowledge is acquired then, however, it significantly easier to maintain and improve the knowledge! Why should it be different with the mental and psychological health?
Resistance and failure really gives great opportunities for awakening and change, so although it may seem difficult with the potential to add value to you in the long run by creating insight and opportunity for change.

When are you comfortable! Can you do something different! What can you learn from your mistakes? How does your love out? When are you most selfish? Lets you often emotions control you? Have you tried to use your mind more conscious in a recurring situation successfully? Are you willing to work more actively with your psyche?

If you think you can not handle your undertakings. What are the chances that you fail, do you think?

Change your management!

Your environment affects you, and your life has influenced you so far! But the biggest reason for the way you feel affects you actually yourself! This is by humbly begin to learn to understand how you function as a person, how you think, feel and act, why it is as it is right now! which together will hopefully lead to the conclusion that you start your own change!

We are all pretty lost, scared and feel often unsuccessful in many situations. There is really nothing strange about that, because we're very similar, deep down, as you or I are not alone, and you do not take your failure as serious, but can choose to see them as lessons and input to something you can change the that you simply think it's time to move on ... and it is glorious with all change is that you will fall down and do a reboot now and then, such is life ...

You are the center of your own life and no one else! You are free to think and feel what you want!

Are you willing to start exercising your mental and psychic abilities regularly now? Read more about it next week here.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.