Could it be great to be unfaithful in a relationship to the partner, and when is it really cheating?

Hello Mr. life coach

I'm wondering when is it really cheating?

Is that when you fantasize about having sex with a colleague at work?

Is it when making out with someone other than your partner?

Is it when you think of someone else, when you have sex with their own partners?

Or is it only when you have sex with someone secretly, and when no one's partner knows about it?

I hope that you as a life coach can help me here. So I can sort this out in my relationship with my partner about what the rules are.

Greetings

Jacob


Hi Jacob

We should talk more openly about what we really mean by fidelity and infidelity. There is a set of unspoken rules of what it really means to be together with someone.

But what if the agreement would instead be pronounced at the beginning of a relationship?

Open communication is a more honest alternative to infidelity. Then you could avoid a lot of deception and misunderstanding.

It need not always be about fast rules, but it is about daring to talk about what you wish for, listen, give and take with deep respect for the other's feelings.

Many think that fidelity is about not having sex with someone outside the relationship.

But what counts as infidelity varies very much.

- Can a heterosexual woman go and camp with a male mate or vice versa?
- Lying on his lap and watch television?
- Another feels threatened by the partner or masturbating porn surfing.
- While a third think to plan Easter together is a matter of course in a love relationship.

Especially for many of heterosexual relationships can close friendships perceived as threatening.

Contrary to what many believe may temporarily sex with others, in some cases, contribute to maintaining a long lasting relationship.

Is it reasonable to expect sexual exclusivity in a relationship that lasts 15 years?

Yes, for some it is a matter of course. But for others it is better to renegotiate the agreement.

The reality is true that so often not quite agree with the map. In surveys, 20-50 percent that they sometime in life has been unfaithful to a partner. Therefore, I suggest that we should reinterpret the concept of infidelity.

Infidelity can instead be defined as a crime against a common agreement. Faithfulness does not necessarily mean sexual exclusivity to a partner.

When to take their allegiance talking?

When you have been together, and as early as possible in a relationship. It may feel distant to think about opening up a relationship when you are newly in love. But I still think that it is easier to bring up the subject and discussed early on in the relationship, and before it's too late and has already destroyed the relationship.

I hope it was the answer to your question and concerns, and that they can solve some of those problems that you have.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

I am bisexual and I am in love with my best friend, and how can I solve this with my family, and what can I do about it with my best friend?

I am 15 years old and need to be clear to me what I should do, ok?

So: I am a girl who pea in love with my best friend.

She already has a boyfriend so it can not just jump up and say "I'm in love with you," then chances are that it just collapses. The emotions have cooled a bit, but today, it started again. And my family did not know that I'm bisexual so it makes everything more difficult.

To my question:

How should I do? And what about my family who are against the whole thing with that girl with the girl thing?

Emily


Hi Emily

It sounds as if you are walking around with two big issues right now.

And that you are in love with your best friend and wondering if you should tell her?
And secondly, that you are bisexual and think about how it would be if you came out ahead of your family?

If you tell your friend that you are in love with her, I think depends on why you want to do it. Is it because you have the hope that it will be the two of you? Or is it because you feel you have to tell that it is difficult to spend time with her when you're so in love?

You write nothing about your relationship and her looks or her sexual orientation, but she already has a boyfriend so the likelihood that there would be two of you right now is not so great perhaps. But if you feel you want and need to tell your own sake.

So think about that you should select a time when you both are themselves, for example, at the home of any of you, or if you go for a walk. You can submit it as it is something you feel you need to tell, because it's hard to keep it within you, and you hope that it will not be in the way of your and her friendship relationship, but that you actually feel in love in her.

It is impossible for me to say something about how she will react to what you tell us, perhaps, she is great, but there are of course also a risk that she will feel uncomfortable or do not know what she should do. So you must consider whether to take that risk before you tell.

When it comes to getting out front of your parents, it's nothing you have to do. Nobody has any obligation to talk about their sexual orientation to others. But for most, it feels much better to tell other than to keep the information to himself.

Have you come out ahead another person before? I think it is good. To the one who first they tell, is a person you can trust, and that you know you will get support from. If you suspect that your parents are against bisexuality and homosexuality. So it might be nice to have a network around you who know even sexual orientation, and who can support you if your parents react negatively. This can include contacts in real life or online.

If you decide to tell your parents, it is also good to do so in a peaceful context where you can talk properly with each other. For most people who tell others that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, it goes very well. But it can of course happen that you get a bad reaction from your parents. Some may be very difficult to understand that someone may have a different sexual orientation than heterosexual.

If you come out and your parents react negatively or treats you badly, it is important to remember that you have the right to be exactly who you want and feel safe. If your parents react poorly, you can seek support from someone you trust or a youth or an organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queers.

I wish you all good luck!

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.