How occurs and affects my own different feelings, thoughts and behaviors me, and can I change this?

Hey coach

What must I do to be better able to understand what other people think, and what the different emotions they have?

And how occurs and affects my own different feelings, thoughts and behaviors me, and can I change this?

I am grateful for answer

Igor


Hi Igor

If you show the qualities that express concern for others. You showing that you have chosen to live a life that is bigger than yourself!

And the qualities you need to strengthen such as reducing down your ego in favor of caring about others is:

• Empathy, compassion, altruism, trust, generosity, love, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude are qualities in personality development, religion and spirituality cultivated highly appreciated, qualities that make you a proper man.
• Selfishness, insensitivity, egocentricity, suspicion, greed, hatred, malice, unforgiveness, ungratefulness are qualities that you should process, narrowing down and try to leave behind.

Relationships that entertains and is rewarding to be positive!

Did you know that intimate partner who managed to keep through life using at least five times more loving and positive communication and emotional expression than negative! They often ask questions and show interest in their partner's life. Criticism should be constructive and well-intentioned. Important criteria which proved in the study were: Parenting kept love alive and had a strategy for this, they were often facing his partner in conversation (not turned his back!), They admired and respected her partner and had fun together. The same criteria also proved to be important to keep a relationship alive in a sexual and romantic high level. The study was done by Gottman, ratio: 5: 1 seems to apply.

Note:
Criticism, contempt, defensive, or blocking of communication are criteria which often indicates that a relationship will end.

Thoughts, feelings and actions!

Thoughts are central in your life. Try to stop thinking! how long managed to your inner dialogue be quiet? a few seconds, maybe! When you think you will also see inner images as a result of your thoughts! example:

You think you want to take it calm and have a holiday! and suddenly in your mind, you see a red open sports car that you are traveling at the Summer Sweden! Now you know even vindraget in your hair smells of nature while the sun shines on your face where you are traveling through your dark sunglasses!

Your thoughts are first created images that in turn created sensations, feelings! which now produces physical reactions. You can now physically experience the smells, the wind and the heat of the sun in your body, despite everything it is only pure fiction from the beginning, a fantasy, which began with a thought!

You extend to you, and now go physically to the window to look out the window, to see if it's sunny outside, see if the summer is on the way! You open the balcony door to feel whether it's hot out and to feel the smells!

Your thoughts are first created images that in turn created feelings, sensations which in turn ultimately created DOCUMENTS (behavior) based on your inner experiences and associations!

If we follow the previous reasoning that our experiences, thoughts, thought patterns and emotional responses are stored in our inner (subconscious!) So we understand what spängkraft this may have on our everyday lives, and how it can affect our way of being and acting if we do it more consciously! There are scholars who argue that our thoughts and especially frequent patterns of thought strengthens certain neural pathways in the brain!

Imagine that your mind is a great computer! and that all your thoughts, feelings and experiences are stored in the hard drive of the computer memories. All the memories and experiences which are lying latent and you can pick them up if necessary, and you can also store new experiences there. The hard drive allows us symbolized as your memory bank, your experiences! The thoughts and thought patterns that you use are you thinking now as different documents in different applications that you choose to open on the desktop of your computer. Ie skills and experiences that you pick up from the hard drive (memory bank) in the internal memory on your computer. In the internal memory there are now applications and documents you have open in helfönster on your desktop that you are actively working with (deliberately), but also applications and documents that you have chosen to minimize as icons in the taskbar, but still available rapidly, in your mind (subconscious !). Now imagine that it is you who write and determine the contents of all the documents, and you can even choose which applications and documents should be open (conscious) or minimized (subconscious!) On the desktop that you may soon need them again! And it's only you who can change the contents of the documents by more consciously reshape your thoughts!

Your thoughts are therefore very important tools to create change. But it is not enough that you change your mind for you to succeed, but you must actively relax on the feeling, empathy for your thoughts and then change your actions (behaviors) of Vardan. It is so the experience is great and programmed.

Therefore, you must consciously begin to work with thoughts, feelings and actions together: "Every action the father is a given," quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson.

• Thoughts
• Emotions
• Actions (behaviors)

CBT - cognitive behavioral therapy, Mindfulness, Visualization and Mental training is practical ways you can regularly make use of to learn how to replace negative thoughts with more positive thoughts and learn how to more actively seeking out the thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Next week I will answer the question about. How your thoughts will always
be ahead of your feelings, and be the prior actions in your life!

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

How should I help my friend who feel so bad?

Hello Mr. life coach and therapist

Have a friend who feels awful. Do not really know what to say or do to help her. Know that she is very sensitive and takes very offended easily. Big and small things.

She has lost contact with several of her friends, she feels hurt and disappointed because it feels like they always think that it is she who does / says wrong. Sometimes feel out among his childhood friends she had known all her life, and it extremely painful. A friend has completely stopped talking to her, the reason is quite unclear and it was still a good friend that she shared several memories.

She has quite large mood swings, irritability, and can lie and cry often, sometimes for something that happened but sometimes she does not even know why. She says she often has anxiety and not be bothered to do anything. She says she hates herself. Are often tired and sad that it does not feel as if someone understands her, sometimes not even she herself.

She does not like where she lives. Her self-esteem / self-confidence is at zero, and she did not feel comfortable with her appearance, she says she is fat even though she is not, she often compares himself with others. Even though I told her she should not do it. She is fine and good as she is. But often, I guess it is in itself, it might not matter remained what others say. She does not like to feel so weak, she wishes she could resist and feel strong any time. There are even more that are not fit to write here.

Many thanks for your response and your help

Erina


Hi Erina

Your friend feel bad and there seems to be a condition that is more protracted and deeper than being depressed and anxious and then. Any diagnosis of your friend's problem is not possible to provide based on your brief letter, and it is not what I can offer here.

Perhaps the best way for you to help your buddy may be that you make her aware that we all feel bad sometimes. That feeling is that it will be so for life while it is help to feel better. So she has now, she should not have to have it. There is help available. You are a wise and compassionate friend who is troubling you and want to help her.

A first step on the road to your buddy may be that she sees a doctor or a psychologist at the medical center she belongs to an investigative and expository conversations about what is going on.

The low self-esteem as you look at your mate can make you feel that others do not want a well, or think of one, and may lead to think that others speak ill of one. You write that your friend even among childhood friends as she had known all her life "feel out", and that her friends seem to think that what she "says and does is wrong." When you feel bad, you can become overly critical both to himself and others.

You also tell us about your friend's mood swings. She easily gets irritated, and that friends have shirked her. I understand what you write that it is something new, and not as it has been before. An odd mood of this kind is often a problem in relation to family and friends. Especially if the environment does not understand that the person is not feeling well. It could be understood that it has become awkward and aloof. It can then easily lead to conflicts in the family, or friends withdraw. Disappointed and angry. The dilemma is that when you feel bad you do not feel cope with such incidents, and perhaps do not understand what is happening. It is difficult to solve problems. Both energy and thinking are often significantly reduced.

I want to emphasize that there can be many reasons for it as your friend feel as awkward and as obstacles to her. Then propose to her, of course, fully respecting that it is she who decides how it will be, to meet with a school counselor, doctor or psychologist to talk about what she is experiencing. The first step may be to contact the health center she belongs. Primary care staff have great experience to meet and help people with various psychological disorders. Or you can give the council to your friend, that she contact me for individual private consultation and advice here.

What you might do more for your friend? In addition to encouraging a seek care. We know from studies that people who have problems with anxiety feel better if it is physically active, and despite its spontaneous resistance still do things that previously enjoyed. It is called in psychology for behavioral activation, and for many who try it it is surprisingly helpful. So another way to also help your friend may be to encourage the take walks together, maybe jogging if it fits in, and with a friendly insistence offer her to do what you do normally amuses her. Activation in this way two or three times a week is often enough to atmospheric situation will be improved step by step.

If you hear your friend's expressing a death wish or thoughts about suicide, you propose her to contact Suicide Enlightenment, a chat line, where they can receive support and guidance.

It is a privilege to be your friend trusts you while it can be difficult for you to bear her suffering on your shoulders. Think know if there would be an option for you to talk to her family or adult in your vicinity so that they can help her. I know it's not always so easy to talk to an adult. One can feel that betrays his friend. While it may be a necessary step. You can also for themselves to hear from you with any other organization for support and assistance.

You seem to me a very nice and empathetic person, and that I would say to you is that you should also take care of yourself.

Hugs to you both and hope this helps, and it gets better.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can follow me the Author and Writer about Mental Health and Life Coach Therapist Mr Chris Savage on my various social media channels here.