How do you build and get loyalty and trust to other people?

Hi Coach

I have a friend. As has been very difficult to trust someone else, and it creates a lot of problems for my friend.

As for exemple. My friend have been very difficult to find and get some new friends, and therefore living my friend a depressed and very lonely life.

How do you build and get loyalty and trust back to other people?

Thank you for your help in advance, and an absolutely fantastic question and answer site you have here.

Mira


Hi Mira

The putty in every relationship and lubricant in all communication is trust. When we have confidence in anyone, we take in and listen but we also open up and share. The times reliance shortcomings, we feel how we pull ourselves together and back. Both body and soul.

Trust does not come by itself. It needs to be built and run. In the beginning, the frail but if we behave in the right way it can grow so strong that it can withstand a lot of hard knocks.

Here are my top 10 tips on how to create and maintain the loyalty and trust.

1. Be present
We all want to be seen and noticed, and the showing us the respect lost our trust. Being present means that you are available and receptive to someone else in time, space and mind. Listen, feel in and open up.

2. Keep your promises
When you stand by your words you will be reliable. You become a person to be reckoned with. Suspicion and doubt when you repeatedly fail your promises. It does not matter how acceptable you think they are.

3. If you have to betray a promise to talk about it as soon as possible
Although we intend to keep a promise, life can get in the way. Factors that we can not influence could thwart our plans and calculations. If you're gonna have to break your promise let your counterpart know about it as soon as possible.

4. Say sorry when you made the wrong
We all make mistakes and treading in autoclaves. When you are concerned that confidence is restored ask you to apologize for the incident and offer to repair or compensate for the damage suffered.

5. Be honest, but not brutally frank
When you say what you mean and mean what you say you are perceived as honest and trustworthy. But if you constantly tell your truths to others without consideration and respect, you are so brutal in your sincerity that it creates distance and discomfort rather than closeness and trust.

6. Be loyal
It is said in confidence to stay between four ears. What about the personal and private should only be told by the person it affects. How harmless you may judge it. Another form of disloyalty are talking about someone rather than to the person in question. Therefore say never anything about anyone that you can not stand for when you meet on-one.

7. Take the bull by the horns
If you grab things and not ducking discomfort and conflicts win ambient confidence. Others can trust that you are a person put your own comfort aside when necessary. Daring to highlight what is doubtful, and what you think is wrong is not only courageous, but also an action that builds trust.

8. Be yourself
Being yourself requires that you know yourself so well that you do not need to hide something for yourself. When you know who you are, it becomes much easier to be the same no matter what role you hold or what stage you are at. You can choose what you want to highlight and illuminate but the core remains the same. This way you will be credible.

9. Be consistent
When you behave in the same way over and over again, you are predictable, which provides security for your environment. And when you do that you said you will be clear and consistent, because your words match your actions. Your surroundings can trust that you mean what you say.

10. Rely on the second
Trust is a palindrome. The word is the same forwards as backwards. If you want to build trust, you must also give trust. You need to let go and give responsibility. You need to begin to trust others but also that things will work out for the best. Although you can not control. That trust is not the same as to know for sure. Trusting means that you believe. Although you do not know.

I hope your friend manages to build up and get back trust and loyalty to other people again, and that's even if your friend has become considerably burnt earlier on and in different friendships.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

Why do I lose all contact with my friends and everyone är complains about my conduct and behavior all the time?

Why do I lose all contact my friends and
everyone complains about my conduct and behavior all the time?

Hi Coach

I have a question for you, and hope you can help me out with an answer on my problems.

I have lost most all my friends in my life now. And when I meet new people today I can spend same time and hang around together with them. But after a short time (around 6 months) they will disappear from me and from my life also.

I don't know now why no one will spend time together with me, or will be my friend anymore.

What people say and complain about me is: That I am lazy and that i not do my part of the work in school and at work, and that I am only will do the funny things, and that I never will helping out to finish anything that I have been started up on with nobody, and that I am lying about my personal stories that I tell about my life and myself.

.

I will not change my personal behavior against anyone, or how I am as a person to be friends with no one. I give skit to that kind of persons. I will instead leave that person then changing myself to try to keep this skitty bad persons as a friends.

So the most time the relationships ends up with that I say: - I will not be your friend anymore with you.

I feel like that every person I meet will get into my personal life, and saying things to me about my private behavior that I never will tolerate. I only following my feelings all the time, and I always will say exactly what i want to say to anyone, and I always do exactly what I think is funny and is coming up on my minds in just that moment.  

What is the problem with any people I meet today?

I hope you can explain and help me out with this, and how I should find and gets new friends that's like me how I am.

Best greetings

An-Mo

Hi An-Mo

Thanks for you wrote to me and ask your question.

It is always very easy to find and see all the faults that all adder people do to you.

But often people say and do things to a person. Because a person have show a behavior in a certain way against them from the beginning.

So if we start in a adder end of this.

Will you have friends that only do the funny things, and let you do all the boring things if it should gets done and finish?

Will you have friends that is lying to you about everythings, and not telling the truth about it to you?

I think you not will have this kind of personens as your friends or?

Therefore, you should look at how you act and behave towards those people that you meet today and your will have as friends?

Often you will find the answer if you try searcheth yourself first, and if you look at how you actually behave rather than them. Had you been happy and content to be treated as you treat others? And as you now are acting against the people you meet, and who might become your new friends in the future.

You write that you never want to and intend to change you as a person, and your conduct and behavior. If we look closely at this.

- If you always continue to do what you have always done so far. What has become the resulted? You have lost and have no friends today.

If you change your behavior and how you behave against the people. Do you think then that it is most likely that it may be a different result? And how other people will respond to you then? Most likely is the correct answer YES on this question.

Therefore, you should first consider whether you want to have any friends at all, or not?

And then if you decide that you want to have friends. You should start thinking about how to change yourself, and how you behave and should change your behavior, so they wants have you as good friend in the future.

And if you want back your old friends. Do you really need to apologize from your innermost of your heart, and show that you really feel ashamed before them, and for that you have been such a real asshole to them yet

Then you have to show by how you behave and through Your actions that you really have changed, and this is by making sure to take care of them and help them with everything they want from you.

So maybe you can get them back to friends again, and if you are lucky enough that they forgive you for what you have done against them when you quit munity familiar with them.

But this choice is completely free and there is only up to you to do it. But no matter which you choose you do, it will have consequences for you and your future life, and in any case for you.

I wish you all good luck with your choice, and this no matter whatever you choose to do, and this is because it is only you who has to live with your choices, and no one else.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

Where go the limit for when I being manipulated and exploited by any person or my friends?

Hello life coach

I have questions about an issue.

When and how do I know that a friend just uses me, and this is to only pull their own benefit of our close friendship?

I have a friend that I always stand by and help with a lot of different things, and I never requiring anything in return.

Often give up and shoot up my own things that I would have done, and for that I instead choose to stand up for my friend who asks for help.

Those few times I ask for something. So says my friend often that this is busy with some other important things and, therefore, can not help me.

My friend also says that one should and can not expect and demand nothing in return. And of those you really love and are even really near and dear friends. Is it really good and close and good friends, so require or expect you never to get anything back from them, and think you like this, you can never be disappointed with your friends, says my friend.

Is my friend right in what is said, or is it just a way to manipulate me, and to be able to use me to all possible things?

Thanks in advance for your help and your response

Christi


Hi Christi

It is not always easy to tell if a friend using you or if the person is a true friend. However, there are certain situations or characteristics that affect how they relate to you is very special and that makes it easy to see through a negative friendship or when someone approaches with false intentions.

But here you have 4 different things that you can even transfer and check if your friend manipulates and exploits you.

They hear only when they need something

This is the basic property at a false or self-serving friendships; your friend hears only himself when he needs something from you. It can be very simple things; which lend a book or bussing person somewhere, but also more complicated situations, like t. ex. lend money.

To help your friends is a sign of love and care, but if you begin to notice that a person just come to you to ask for things, it may be time to put a limit or put an end to the situation.

They go out with friends without inviting you

It is quite natural to want to be our friends get to know each other and socialize on-one. But if someone who recently became a part of your circle of friends begins to go out with your friends without inviting you, and virtually hide this, it can be a warning sign.

It is important to be objective about this situation arises because it is sometimes easy to feel a bit threatened or jealous without any real basis. That is why it is recommended to analyze the situation very well before you take away from the person.

They use your personal information for their own benefit

Some false friends approaching you with the sole purpose of getting information about you that can be used to their advantage. Although this situation may be very obvious, you may still not take it all seriously.

This can manifest itself in many different kinds of situations, so you should be alert. It may be that the friend is trying to use your contact details for a job or to get benefits under your name. You can get involved in misunderstandings or serious problems with your contacts without having any idea what was happening.

You constantly get slammed

A true friendship is sincere and not self-serving, but at times we need our friends' help. It may be that you need someone to listen, a service, or that they help you in certain situations. If you notice that your friend always refuses to help you, it is probably not a very sincere friendship.

This point is closely related to the first point, then it is very common in false friendship that the person always asks you for help or trying to take advantage of you, but disappear when you need something.

Far from all the people we meet in our lives has the intention to exploit us or bring us harm, but it is important to be alert to avoid being exploited by those who have such intentions.

But if any seats in all four criteria above. You should immediately dispose of those friends, and completely get rid of them from your life. For they are no friends, only people who manipulate and exploit you because you are good and kind person.

And if someone shows signs of any of those four criteria above. Will you be observant and vigilant about this person. For it is a sure sign. That this is a man who would take a lot more than it really wants to give back to you as a friend.

I hope my answer is helpful to you, and that they address themselves to you, which precise friends you should keep or not in your life.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

Can I have different roles with different friends, and what different friendship roles can I have?

Hello

Can I have different roles with different friends, and what different friendship roles can I have?

I've thought a lot about this. For it is very different what kind of role I have and when I'm with different friends.

Greeting

Macus


Hi Marcus

What kind of friend are you? And what does that say about you? And these five roles are common in friendships.


The organizer

Planner who keeps track of birthdays, buying gifts, and juggle thousands of little practical details.

If you have this role ...
So you're probably Talented Annika in many contexts and can quite often have chosen the role because you need confirmation from others.

If you tire of the role you will be prepared to miss out on the group's immediate estimate, and the most important thing you can in that case have to do is to learn to be a little more passive.

Little sister

With childlike charm and a certain amount of confusion avoids effectively be the one who takes responsibility.

If you have this role ...
So, it is a subtle matter, you do not have to take responsibility, but will still always be with. In the long run, this is probably still a role that becomes boring. It is one thing to have this role when one is 17 and the youngest in the office. It's not as fun when the 42nd

The entertainer

Constantly a laugh ready, always a pinch of irony in his hand salting of everyday life. The Entertainer is expected to be the one who can always amuse us.

If you have this role ...
Then you have the "job" to ensure that it does not become too tense in the group by diverting attention from the conflict into something playful. Are you even have a little afraid of conflict?

To constantly have this role can ultimately also be perceived as a bit frivolous, because you so rarely show up serious.

The therapist

Listen, lend his shoulder and says, wise, warm things so that the rest of us feel a little better.

If you have this role ...
So are you a person who sees it as important to be caring and helping others. The risk is just that you forget yourself on the road ...

The diplomat

This is a very popular member of the group, with major talents to intercept conflict and to intervene and mediate.

If you have this role ...
So you are often a first-children who have developed a habit in tough negotiations. In the long run, it is a role that has sapped your strength, right here to constantly adapt mediation strategy and not freely express their own opinions. It can make you feel a little fake as a person.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

I can not understand why I feel so alone, and what this loneliness feeling can depend on when I am with my own friends nowadays?

Hello life counselor

I feel so alone when I am with my own friends nowadays.

I can not understand why I feel so alone, and what this loneliness feeling can depend on?

Greetings

Liselott


Hello Liselott

You feel alone in your friendships. Maybe because you have had a role in your real friendship bonds that you do not feel comfortable with.

Amanda says that she usually get the position of the listener in their companionship.

 - And it's a role that I have begun to tire of. I have several friends who are strong and forward and talk a lot about themselves, and the relationship with them, I find it difficult to break in and take a seat. It tends to be that I get tired of waiting for them to ask "how are you then?"; I fall silent and listen, and try to solve their problems instead. I'm certainly tired of it, but we've been friends for so long now. These roles are cemented as well.

My friends, however, would probably describe me as a kind person who is calm, quiet and listens well, and do not need so much space.

I know I can not expect them to wake up and see that I have more demands on our friendship. I have to start asking yourself the requirements, she says.

Ulrika tells us in turn that she often gets the role of "organizer" in groups.
- Sure, I like to fix and organize things, but I had not imagined that I would get this role full time. I took on the responsibility for our joint Friday breakfasts at work. Since then it has become who I am planner, I expected to stay in everything from purchasing things from IKEA, to know the coffee machine that will be the best in the kitchen, or remember how often should water the flowers, she says.

Becoming aware of the role that you usually take in friendships is the first step towards better friendships!

If you do not feel comfortable with your role, and not feel that you have permission to be "yourself", so it may be the reason why you feel you have too few genuine friends.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

Do you know what this feeling i have of loneliness I can depend on Mr. life coach

Hello Mr. life coach

I feel very lonely sometimes, even though I have very many friends.

Do you know what this feeling of loneliness can depend on?

With friendly greetings

Olga


Hey Olga

It is not unusual that we can feel the loneliness that we actually have friends.

Kajsa says she can often feel misunderstood by his friends.

- People often tend to take me as a happy little shit. I am the one who is expected to laugh and take life a breeze. Personally, I feel like a serious person who may indeed be close to laughter, but that definitely stands with both feet on the ground.

It can be a pain when I feel a little depressed, "but come Kajsa, you who usually makes all warm and happy", people say.

I also read a lot of books and I'm interested in developing country issues. It seems surprising part, as if I would be terminally stupid or something! I think it's because most people see me as a sociable person. They do not think that I have a very great need to just sit alone and read, she says.

Loneliness Feelings can thus involve you no longer feel comfortable with the role you have been in friendly relations.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

Why are so many people alone and feel lonely today I wonder?

Hello life coach

I have a question that you probably can answer.

Why are so many people alone and feel lonely today?

Thank you for your response to my question in advance!

Sincerely

Dolly


Hi Dolly

"New solitude" call it sometimes, when in the media and debate forums to discuss how socially passive technological progress has made us.

We Facebooking, tweeting, emailing and texting instead of meeting face to face.

We content ourselves with friendship served to display call dinnerware, perhaps because we think it's either this, or not to be "seen" at all?

The explanation for our so-called nyensamhet is that we are moving more than ever.

Women on average are expected to make it twelve times in their lifetime, according to statistics from Statistics Sweden. An average man has time because of their shorter life "only" eleven.

When our friends move

But even that which is his hometown faithful life can experience the social life suddenly go from summer to autumn, when the friends move or grow out of one the other way.

Christian explains that after ten years in Stockholm moved back to his hometown and thought that the friends would probably not be a big deal. He had been so easy to make friends before. He was not an oddball. Additionally lived there surely remain friends from the past ...

But it would appear that the vast majority had moved away from their home, just like him, and at first he tried therefore to keep alive the friendships he had made in Stockholm.

- But they disintegrated in just a few months when not that natural touch was there anymore. It's really scary so fast it went, he says.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

I feel confused and my question are what real friendship is, and how do I know when we are real friends? Here are 8 tips and answers for those who want to find new friends!

Hello Mr. life coach

I often feel confused about how I feel when I'm with different people that I meet.

So I wonder what is real friendship? How do I know we are real friends?

Grateful for an answer to my question here.

Mariam


Hi Miriam

It is easy to be pompous and a little romantic strung when you talk about friendship.

Perhaps you're thinking that true friends are those who, like just take you. You can pick up where you left off, though you have not seen for several months. And when you first met, I knew both of you at once that just the two of you would become good friends ...

It may be just such exaggerated expectations of friendship behind you actually feel rather lonely today ...

Lillian B Rubin, American social psychologist and psychotherapist based in San Francisco, is a world renowned expert on friendship. She hits a happy kind of "everyday friendship", as we have with colleagues at work, or with a workout buddy as we jump in pace with. "All these people that we are a bit conciliatory call 'familiar' also has a great value in life," she says.

Familiarize living is as important as soul mates

Actually, we should not compare them with each other or the rate much. We simply need all kinds of friends. Many times, every-day relations develop into a more intimate friendship relationship later. Some friendships will take several years to mature up, but could then, on the other hand, keeping the longer, perhaps for life.

Hard to know if one's friends "for real"

Complicating friendships is that it is quite difficult to know if they really have become friends or not.

When Lillian B Rubin did interviews and followed up friendships threads across acquaintance circuits, so she discovered that the entire 64 percent not at all mentioned the person they themselves had said was their best or close friend. 64% of your friends see you, maybe not as a friend at all. Horrible thought!

Should we go back to the primitive of friendship and require mixed blood and two tightly compressed thumbs? Or is it perhaps time to see the friendship in a new way? Perhaps as a mood we are in, and that no other more than we can tell whether it is genuine or not?

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

How I can meet and get, and acquire me some new friends in my life?

Hello

I have no friends anymore today, and now I wonder how to acquire and make new friends?

I hope that you as a life coach can help me with some tips and ideas. How I can meet and get, and acquire me some new friends in my life.

Thanks in advance for your help and hope for an answer!

Nina


Hi Nina

There is a lot that you can do to make new friends in their lives.

But it may take some time to get really good and close friends. For close relationships acquire and build not up over a cup of coffee. It takes some time to build up a close and nice relationship with someone else. Because it is based on confidence and trust, and between each other.

I asked my readers and followers here for tips and ideas. Whether and how to get and gained new friends? I had acquired the following answers and suggestions from my readers and followers, and as you can read here:

Friends are almost like love relationships except that friendship is without smudging whether to express themselves in that way. Friendship is fragile but it is strong handle on everything. Alienation I felt the most when I was nine years old. My best friend had a better friend and I were on a corner. Then on a class trip, I was the same pushed forward with another girl that I would paddle a canoe on to the other two wanted to paddle together. We talked and laughed the entire trip and we are best friends today.
Anna

I have received many through the Internet. There have been someone who knew someone, I also know, or who were completely unknown to me. The friends you get through school is not my best friends, then often the only connection is the school or class going in. I've often felt like an outsider. It does not apply to try to get into the community without finding a new or create one. Often, it helps to ignore the people and have fun otherwise. I met a bunch of girls that I've met on the internet because we listened to the same music / bands.
Amanda

Just by saying "Hello", so has launched what could develop into a strong friendship. Then, just to be sociable, and the relationship gets stronger with time.
Petra

Is difficult to say "do not be shy" because it is almost every person starting a new school or so. I think it applies to just find someone who has the same interest. You might hear someone talk about something that you are interested in and then you know something you can tell that fit in the conversation. When I started in high school, it was relatively easy to make friends all had an interest in computers.
Rymond

Often it can be that evil people do that other cling to each other and to make friends that way. I think it feels funny, but it can be if you notice that somebody said something to someone who seems to be sad. Then you can talk to it and say it's okay and that person is so against all. In this way, you can actually become friends.
Lisa

When I am outside, I try to start a conversation with someone if no one comes up to me. Everything depends on the context in which it is in. Last I made contact with a stranger was at an engagement party I was on the last weekend. When was the proprietress, who is a classmate of mine, worried that another friend of hers was a little off. None of us knew the other two. So I started to ask how she knew my classmate. She asked the same, then we proceeded to question each other and then we went on different topics. Then we exchanged numbers before we said goodbye for the evening.
Richard

One can try to make new friends by, for example, go to a few in the class and greet each other and so. Start with small things so that you get connected to people. Then you can gradually increase the contact, for example, to add them on msn and chat with them and so on.
Dennis

It is usually treated nicely back if you yourself are nice. Then I do not understand why some people will be in need to be friends with everyone and everything. Some will be completely destroyed if they might be "outside" or a particular person does not "want" to be friends with. The same, if that person or those people do not want to be nice, they are not worthy to even spend time on. One way that I met new friends on where to go on different "parties" and "movie nights" where I saw many new faces.
David

The best tip I have is to dare to take place! Do not let others push you down. Some fun way to get to know new friends is to start new groups, perhaps a local theater or something similar.
Jennifer

I made new friends through that I fell out with my former friends. Every single one of them. But in my class, it was a very kind and forward girl, and she asked if we would eat together. Then I became friends with all her buddies.
Nino

I hope you get the help of all my followers and readers' ideas and tips that you need, and you've got an answer to your question. And we all wish you very good luck with and hope you get many new friends Nina.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.