I wonder what's going on and why I feel and gets so hot when I hug with someone?

Hi Mr. Life Coach

I wonder what's going on and why I feel and gets so hot when I hug with someone?

Grateful for an answer to my question!

Emily


Hi Emliy

It's not that weird. Touch triggers the secretion of endorphins in the brain - an analgesic endogenous who is more powerful than heroin. A warm touch release also love hormone oxytocin. This hormone helps create a sense of confidence and reduces levels of cortisol stresshor-monet. Next to childbirth and breastfeeding is six most powerful trigger oxytocin release.

Vital touching each other

That you enjoy so out of touch is that physical proximity is a scarce commodity in our individualistic western world. Many have a deficit of touching account, especially singles in Sweden.

In a groundbreaking study studied psychologist Sidney Jouard conversation between friends in different parts of the world. He found that the two observed friends in Britain, a country that is reminiscent of Sweden, touched each other zero times.

In Puerto Rico, moved buddies each other 180 times.

Physical proximity is a basic need of human beings. Scientists call through lack of contact for the "skin hunger", ie hudhunger.

In the first stage of life, proximity to be vital. Premature infants who received three 15-minute sessions of touch therapy every day for five to ten days increased 47 percent more weight than the premature infants who received standard medical treatment.

Later in life can touch be what stands between a healthy healthy life and a life of depression and physical illness.

"Without touching a child dies, the heart pains and soul atrophies. The need for touch is a necessity through our lives, from birth to death, and it helps us to maintain our emotional and physical health, "writes Phyllis Davis, author of the book" The Power of Touch ".

Starving singles

Unfortunately receive many singles in Sweden is not their daily dose. A survey of single girls in the circle of acquaintances shows that satiates his hudhunger differently. Some pay to get a massage once a week. and says "I feel like a horny old woman, but I need touch to feel good."

Others get their need for closeness satisfied to practice yoga instructor then settles above in order to end up in the right position. Some people dancing salsa twice a week and says that "There are those who dance five times a week just for the sake of proximity".

Study after study shows that the simple act of stretching out his arm and take on some often result in physical benefits as slower heart rate, lower blood pressure and faster recovery.

The nick signals to the brain

Professor Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg is Sweden's foremost authority on anti-stress hormone oxytocin, which she calls "our internal drug".

In his book "closeness hormone, oxytocin's role in the relationship," she writes, "A person who daily expect and get touched in the form of a loving hug, a warm hand or friendly massage is very likely to be happier, more energetic and have a greater ability and willingness to communicate.

Touch shows that we are safe, that someone cares about us, and not least that we are valuable. But it also provides comprehensive neurophysiological effects that influence our behavior and our emotions, "she writes.

- The high demand for massage and other touch therapies is an expression of our need for intimacy, says Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg. When you become concerned activate nerves in the skin, nerves that goes up to the primitive part of the brain. There in the hypothalamus and brainstem controlled important things that stress level, emotions, functions of the gastrointestinal tract, heart rate and blood pressure. When you become involved increasing influx of oxytocin into the brain regions so that you feel rewarded and well.

The key to your innermost

A person who notices the effects of touch is Ida Pine Trail, 25. She is a hairdresser at the salon at NK in Gothenburg.

- A customer can come in and be stressed, but you give them an extra minute scalp massage and suddenly the calm and begin to share their innermost thoughts. It undoubtedly has the touch to make. It does not tell such things to other strangers cashier or banker, she says.

Like many of her colleagues, she is single, but still receive their proximity needs distillates. - Between customers, we usually scratch each other on the backs and the scalp. Direct as it lowers their shoulders, stress down, starting to smile and enjoy. We single girls is the worst, we take on each other all the time.

You can become a workaholic

Not getting the loving touch has disastrous effects on the individual.

"People who are deprived of this type of touch often becomes restless and engage in binge eating, substance abuse, promiscuity, and workaholism," writes the author of the book "The Power of Touch".

Does this mean that you will grope your neighbor and invade your neighbor's personal space? Or are there other ways to get their longing for closeness appeased?

The first is to realize that you need closeness, says Kerstin Uvnäs Moberg.

- Massagers tells me that it happens to people who get massages start crying because it was so long since someone touched them, says Kerstin Uvnäs
Moberg. Many see the loss. When we were little, it was so clear. We started shouting anxiously until the mother returned.

Adults only feel a discomfort, as if something is missing. Many get a dog. There's a reason we have a million dogs in the country. Massage and couple dance are other ways to get in touch. Another group goes to the doctor and get antidepressants printed, the active ingredient is oxytocin. But you must not be afraid of it that concerns you because then you get a stress reaction instead.

The family makes you calm

People who live in a family with a partner and children do not notice the closeness need. They provided constant close if there is failure of the relationship.
- If you have family, you will be calm and contented. Proximity need is one of the reasons that marriage consists not when the love is still there.

I hope you got the answer to your question, and that you continue to hug everyone you want to hug Emily.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

I am bisexual and I am in love with my best friend, and how can I solve this with my family, and what can I do about it with my best friend?

I am 15 years old and need to be clear to me what I should do, ok?

So: I am a girl who pea in love with my best friend.

She already has a boyfriend so it can not just jump up and say "I'm in love with you," then chances are that it just collapses. The emotions have cooled a bit, but today, it started again. And my family did not know that I'm bisexual so it makes everything more difficult.

To my question:

How should I do? And what about my family who are against the whole thing with that girl with the girl thing?

Emily


Hi Emily

It sounds as if you are walking around with two big issues right now.

And that you are in love with your best friend and wondering if you should tell her?
And secondly, that you are bisexual and think about how it would be if you came out ahead of your family?

If you tell your friend that you are in love with her, I think depends on why you want to do it. Is it because you have the hope that it will be the two of you? Or is it because you feel you have to tell that it is difficult to spend time with her when you're so in love?

You write nothing about your relationship and her looks or her sexual orientation, but she already has a boyfriend so the likelihood that there would be two of you right now is not so great perhaps. But if you feel you want and need to tell your own sake.

So think about that you should select a time when you both are themselves, for example, at the home of any of you, or if you go for a walk. You can submit it as it is something you feel you need to tell, because it's hard to keep it within you, and you hope that it will not be in the way of your and her friendship relationship, but that you actually feel in love in her.

It is impossible for me to say something about how she will react to what you tell us, perhaps, she is great, but there are of course also a risk that she will feel uncomfortable or do not know what she should do. So you must consider whether to take that risk before you tell.

When it comes to getting out front of your parents, it's nothing you have to do. Nobody has any obligation to talk about their sexual orientation to others. But for most, it feels much better to tell other than to keep the information to himself.

Have you come out ahead another person before? I think it is good. To the one who first they tell, is a person you can trust, and that you know you will get support from. If you suspect that your parents are against bisexuality and homosexuality. So it might be nice to have a network around you who know even sexual orientation, and who can support you if your parents react negatively. This can include contacts in real life or online.

If you decide to tell your parents, it is also good to do so in a peaceful context where you can talk properly with each other. For most people who tell others that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer, it goes very well. But it can of course happen that you get a bad reaction from your parents. Some may be very difficult to understand that someone may have a different sexual orientation than heterosexual.

If you come out and your parents react negatively or treats you badly, it is important to remember that you have the right to be exactly who you want and feel safe. If your parents react poorly, you can seek support from someone you trust or a youth or an organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queers.

I wish you all good luck!

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.