Hi coach
I wonder why some people encountered, constant lying that horses strive?
Why they do this lies, and it is a disease that these people have?
Thanks for your answer to my question in advance here.
Layla
Hi Layla
Some are masters at lying - without having any guilt.
Most people have at some point in life met a mythomaniac. Surely the first impression was positive. Perhaps it has even been impressed by this man all the fantastic stories. Whether they have focused on the challenges of professional life, lived through difficulties or strange family histories, has been fascinated with open minds and listened. And listened. Everything then himself may share any self-perceived experience, anecdote or story.
But whatever we have to come up with so mytomanen has always been a part of something dangerous, something fun or something more violent. At first we react not. Our innate confidence that "no one sitting and lying us straight in the face" makes us the longest trying to smooth things over. But as the stories start to fall apart and how much we want so you can no longer hold together the fabric of lies.
The realization will inexorably. It is because cheated.
- Mythomaniacs always want to put themselves in the center, making itself important. And for that, they need an audience, but it should preferably be quiet, said John Schubert, psychoanalyst and director of the Institute of Psychotherapy.
Pathological lying is a relatively unexplored area. Not much is written on the subject. And few psychologists or psychotherapists say they have no direct experience of the phenomenon, which is still common, says Johan Schubert.
It's not that weird. Mytomanen itself lacks almost always insight into the illness, and therefore also like to be treated and cured. But would mytomanen still go to therapy, it is not always easy for the therapist to get them into life. Their duperings skills, and their ability to provide their surroundings exactly what it expects - create the man that the therapist expects - makes them extremely difficult to treat.
The problem of pathological lying is found in all social strata and in people who at first glance may seem completely mentally healthy. Some enjoys general respect, are professionally successful, have a family and outwardly functioning social life, while others live in isolation and have large social or perhaps drug-related problems. Common to them all is the compulsive lies.
Mytomanens motive is, as I said the need for confirmation of standing in the center or a desperate attempt to hide their own life lie.
- But at a deeper level it is about avoiding pain, the pain that occurs when a mythomaniac forced to bring in reality, says organizational consultant and Gestalt therapist Lars Lagerstedt.
To bear all the lies that a mythomaniac do seem unbearable for most healthy people. But mytomanen perceive not lie in the same way as others. Many times they are not even aware that they are lying. Sten Levander, forensic psychiatrist at Malmö General Hospital, tells mytomanens "double accounting", and Lars Lagerstedt says that even if mytomanen were aware of his constant lying, so perceives he or she does not lie in the same way as others.
- They have no debt concept associated with that they lie, rather, they feel a desire experience when they succeed.
Their perspective is completely different. The lie is something casual and perceived as something creative of them, says Lars Lagerstedt. Many are they that testify charismatic mythomaniacs that can mesmerize his audience and skillfully maneuvers his surroundings where they want. They often appears unusually talented, charming and socially competent people.
- In order to survive as mythomaniac required to impress or otherwise dupe their environment. A certain kind of personality have to - especially if they get co-actors, reason Johan Schubert.
Sten Levander, adding that many times, it may not require quite as skilled mythomaniac for us to let ourselves be fooled.
- But we believe in them because they do not have any indication that they would be lying. They can not be decoded as we decode other people. In front of us we see a completely satisfied person who draws the most remarkable story, but when body language is fully cast we find it difficult to uncover them.
Another interesting aspect when dealing with pathological lying are the mechanisms that allow a spouse chooses to stay with the man who constantly joints, serving lies and draws one story after the other facing a seasoned acquaintances.
Even if a married mythomaniac still have to keep within a certain framework for the relationship to be sustainable - for example they may not bring the partner too much hoodwinked emotionally or financially - is such a relationship, of course, far from unproblematic. Being married to a mythomaniac without becoming embroiled himself, without becoming co-actor, is not possible. Many times it is extremely uncomfortable to confront mytomanen with an untruth.
- Once you have noticed that you have a mythomaniac do you often already co-actor, because you inexorably becomes part of the lies in the moment you realize that someone is lying and you still choose to remain silent. Therefore, people feel around a mythomaniac often a big debt that they have not taken responsibility for the situation at an earlier stage.
At the same time, you are afraid to do his or her life worse than it already is. Intuitively, you feel that you are sitting before a house of cards at risk of collapse in any moment. That in the state dare to question the big life lie often located in the ground is not easy, says Johan Schubert.
Lars Lagerstedt believe that there are also those who stay right to continue to benefit from mytomanens often charismatic personality, characteristics that make even the partner feel seen.
But what really defines a mythomaniac? All we sometimes push a little on the truth by spicing up a good story, or by a white lie as a reason for a late arrival or a cancellation of a party. But where the line is to the pure pathological lying is not entirely clear.
Sten Levander mean that as long as a mythomaniac not itself suffer or malfunctioning social person can not be described as mentally disturbed. Fresh, thus, until proven otherwise by their own suffering or social disability.
Johan Schubert believes, however, that we all have a pretty well developed instinct for when a person crosses the line.
- It is enough to see how we react to the person to get a good distinction, he says, talking about a sliding scale of imaginative of pathological lying to pure delusion.
We screws on us before mytomanen, and the fictional stories that he or she serves our attitude passive. With the good storyteller laughs we do good, even though we know it spliced a lot even in the stories.
- It is very fascinating for all of us to stretch the truth. And there is nothing bad in it. We have a need to expand the borders of our own perception of reality. We want to be seduced, but being forced to listen to mythomaniacs is something completely different, says Johan Schubert.
But where are we to turn if they have a mythomaniac in their vicinity? Where can you get help?
- For a therapist, it is of course difficult to work with a mythomaniac who himself does not want to work with their problems, therefore it is unfortunately enough so that the environment has the greatest responsibility to create awareness among these people.
However, because the pathological lying about a deep insecurity and there might be some type of violation in the ground, it is important not to denounce the person and his lies, said Lars Lagerstedt.
Instead, you should respect the person's healthy side by clearly show that they do not accept the lies. At the same time it should encourage the person to reveal more of himself - instead of all the lies. In the long term it leads hopefully to a certain disease awareness, which in turn can make the person treatable, says Lars Lagerstedt.
Facts about
Pathological lying are not as self-diagnosis, rather, these are symptoms of a picture in which a personality disorder often included.
The phenomenon is more common than you think, according to psychoanalyst John Schubert. Mythomaniacs found in all social strata in society.
According to the Encyclopedia defines pathological lying as "pathological mendacity." Furthermore, states that "mytomanin occurs in association with mental disorders and the pronounced histrionic (hysterical) people.
In children occurs fabuleringstendenser that can mimic pathological lying. "
I hope you got an answer to your question, and good luck with them mythomaniac engines as you hit forward in your life.
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