Could it be great to be unfaithful in a relationship to the partner, and when is it really cheating?

Hello Mr. life coach

I'm wondering when is it really cheating?

Is that when you fantasize about having sex with a colleague at work?

Is it when making out with someone other than your partner?

Is it when you think of someone else, when you have sex with their own partners?

Or is it only when you have sex with someone secretly, and when no one's partner knows about it?

I hope that you as a life coach can help me here. So I can sort this out in my relationship with my partner about what the rules are.

Greetings

Jacob


Hi Jacob

We should talk more openly about what we really mean by fidelity and infidelity. There is a set of unspoken rules of what it really means to be together with someone.

But what if the agreement would instead be pronounced at the beginning of a relationship?

Open communication is a more honest alternative to infidelity. Then you could avoid a lot of deception and misunderstanding.

It need not always be about fast rules, but it is about daring to talk about what you wish for, listen, give and take with deep respect for the other's feelings.

Many think that fidelity is about not having sex with someone outside the relationship.

But what counts as infidelity varies very much.

- Can a heterosexual woman go and camp with a male mate or vice versa?
- Lying on his lap and watch television?
- Another feels threatened by the partner or masturbating porn surfing.
- While a third think to plan Easter together is a matter of course in a love relationship.

Especially for many of heterosexual relationships can close friendships perceived as threatening.

Contrary to what many believe may temporarily sex with others, in some cases, contribute to maintaining a long lasting relationship.

Is it reasonable to expect sexual exclusivity in a relationship that lasts 15 years?

Yes, for some it is a matter of course. But for others it is better to renegotiate the agreement.

The reality is true that so often not quite agree with the map. In surveys, 20-50 percent that they sometime in life has been unfaithful to a partner. Therefore, I suggest that we should reinterpret the concept of infidelity.

Infidelity can instead be defined as a crime against a common agreement. Faithfulness does not necessarily mean sexual exclusivity to a partner.

When to take their allegiance talking?

When you have been together, and as early as possible in a relationship. It may feel distant to think about opening up a relationship when you are newly in love. But I still think that it is easier to bring up the subject and discussed early on in the relationship, and before it's too late and has already destroyed the relationship.

I hope it was the answer to your question and concerns, and that they can solve some of those problems that you have.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.