I can not understand why I feel so alone, and what this loneliness feeling can depend on when I am with my own friends nowadays?

Hello life counselor

I feel so alone when I am with my own friends nowadays.

I can not understand why I feel so alone, and what this loneliness feeling can depend on?

Greetings

Liselott


Hello Liselott

You feel alone in your friendships. Maybe because you have had a role in your real friendship bonds that you do not feel comfortable with.

Amanda says that she usually get the position of the listener in their companionship.

 - And it's a role that I have begun to tire of. I have several friends who are strong and forward and talk a lot about themselves, and the relationship with them, I find it difficult to break in and take a seat. It tends to be that I get tired of waiting for them to ask "how are you then?"; I fall silent and listen, and try to solve their problems instead. I'm certainly tired of it, but we've been friends for so long now. These roles are cemented as well.

My friends, however, would probably describe me as a kind person who is calm, quiet and listens well, and do not need so much space.

I know I can not expect them to wake up and see that I have more demands on our friendship. I have to start asking yourself the requirements, she says.

Ulrika tells us in turn that she often gets the role of "organizer" in groups.
- Sure, I like to fix and organize things, but I had not imagined that I would get this role full time. I took on the responsibility for our joint Friday breakfasts at work. Since then it has become who I am planner, I expected to stay in everything from purchasing things from IKEA, to know the coffee machine that will be the best in the kitchen, or remember how often should water the flowers, she says.

Becoming aware of the role that you usually take in friendships is the first step towards better friendships!

If you do not feel comfortable with your role, and not feel that you have permission to be "yourself", so it may be the reason why you feel you have too few genuine friends.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.