2016-09-01

Do you feel alone? Here are 4 reasons to loneliness, and 5 strategies against loneliness for you

Hi coach

I feel so lonely.

I have no friends left and now I feel very lonely, and it has gone so far in my loneliness so that I have now lost me completely, so I write to you here now.

I hope you can help me to tell me how I can find back on the road again, and so I get new friends again.

Richard


Hi Richard

Do you feel alone? You're not alone! Loneliness is very common and most people feel lonely at some point in life. In this article, we review what loneliness is, the causes of loneliness and how to handle it.

What exactly is loneliness?

Loneliness is a feeling of dissatisfaction, and that something is missing, that arise when you do not have the degree of social contact that you would like to have. Everyone can feel alone now and then, but there are also many who feel loneliness most of the time. It is customary to divide the loneliness in two different groups, social loneliness and emotional loneliness.

Social loneliness

Social loneliness means that you lack a social network, you feel lonely because you do not have any (or as many as you would like) friends, work mates, family members or relatives to spend time with. There are those who have a rich social life on the job, but no friends at leisure, and they are those who feel lonely at work / at school but have friends and family to spend time with their spare time. The feeling of loneliness It is not based on the number of friends, but if you feel satisfied with their social network, or if you miss more people to socialize or interact with. One can sit in a basement, and never talk to anyone and still not feel lonely.

Emotional loneliness

Emotional loneliness occurs when you lack a deep relationship, for example, when you miss someone to really talk to, someone you can tell everything to and / or someone you know loves one for who they are. This sort of loneliness is common to feel even if you have many people to socialize with. I have heard many people describe it as they stand in the middle of a party with a bunch of good friends and acquaintances around them, but they still feel the loneliest in the world. For many guys can feel superficial interaction with the kid gang, and they lack someone to have a deeper relationship with. In this situation many longs for a girlfriend, who they think can fulfill the need for emotional intimacy.

The causes of loneliness

Loneliness can be caused by many different things, and often it may be several reasons that combined creates great loneliness. Generally, one can say that loneliness is caused by any of these four categories:

1. Deficiencies in relationships

Deficiencies in relationships can occur when you do not have any or have relationships with other people, when you feel an outsider or when forced into isolation because they become ostracized or offset (in the family, at work / school, or their friends ).

2. Change in the relationships

Loneliness can also be caused by relationships have changed. It can be anything from a outgrow their friends with age (for example, changing interests, or that one provide family), in order to move from their social network or separating from a partner and suddenly find themselves without both companion and socializing.

3. You see yourself as a single person

If you think of yourself as a single person, it is a property you have that you can not change, so it is often easy to get caught up in loneliness. It may be that seeing yourself as a loner, someone who nobody likes, or as "the eternal single".

4. Lack of social skills

Loneliness may also be due to the lack of social skills, and therefore find it difficult to form relationships with others. It may be that you do not know how to start or continue a conversation with others in a relaxed manner, that it is incredibly shy or even have social phobia, or that you have a negative attitude or even behave badly toward Other.

Strategies to deal with loneliness

Loneliness is like saying something very common and most people feel loneliness in some degree during one or more periods of life. However, there are specific things you can do to manage her loneliness so that it feels better and so that it could ultimately reduce or disappear completely. Here are four successful strategies for dealing with loneliness:

1. Make a rational analysis

Look at your situation from the outside and try to make an objective, rational analysis of the situation. What is your loneliness and what you could do to change your situation? Faced with social situations, whether you experience them as dangerous / annoying, think of the advantages compared to disadvantages and see if the potential gains can motivate you to go there / talk more with people (or what you need to do to reduce loneliness).

2. Stop blame personal characteristics

Try to find what situations or behaviors that create loneliness, instead of thinking "I'm like this as a person." Loneliness is not an innate characteristic, you are not "doomed" to eternal loneliness because of who you are. You can change your situation if you really want and make sure to have the mindset.

3. Make positive to other people

You will not be less lonely if you are bitter and negative towards others. Make sure to keep a positive attitude toward others (even in your own thoughts!), So it is much easier for the people you meet want to have contact or make friends with you.

4. Re-evaluate your loneliness

Instead of seeing loneliness as something negative, you can learn to re-evaluate it and instead appreciate the solitude you have. Being alone can be somewhat useful as it provides a greater opportunity to experience their inner world and to get to know himself.

5. Focus on friendship rather than love

Focus on acquiring or maintaining good friends, instead of putting all our energy on finding The One. It is usually much easier (and with less risk of a broken heart) to find friends than a companion. In addition, to enter into a relationship with a girl with the intention that you will not have to be lonely is not exactly the best breeding ground for love.

Comment if you ever felt alone and what you think your loneliness is, or was due. In this way we can help each other to understand that we are not alone in our solitude.

And good luck to everybody to get rid of your loneliness!

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

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