I feel confused and my question are what real friendship is, and how do I know when we are real friends? Here are 8 tips and answers for those who want to find new friends!

Hello Mr. life coach

I often feel confused about how I feel when I'm with different people that I meet.

So I wonder what is real friendship? How do I know we are real friends?

Grateful for an answer to my question here.

Mariam


Hi Miriam

It is easy to be pompous and a little romantic strung when you talk about friendship.

Perhaps you're thinking that true friends are those who, like just take you. You can pick up where you left off, though you have not seen for several months. And when you first met, I knew both of you at once that just the two of you would become good friends ...

It may be just such exaggerated expectations of friendship behind you actually feel rather lonely today ...

Lillian B Rubin, American social psychologist and psychotherapist based in San Francisco, is a world renowned expert on friendship. She hits a happy kind of "everyday friendship", as we have with colleagues at work, or with a workout buddy as we jump in pace with. "All these people that we are a bit conciliatory call 'familiar' also has a great value in life," she says.

Familiarize living is as important as soul mates

Actually, we should not compare them with each other or the rate much. We simply need all kinds of friends. Many times, every-day relations develop into a more intimate friendship relationship later. Some friendships will take several years to mature up, but could then, on the other hand, keeping the longer, perhaps for life.

Hard to know if one's friends "for real"

Complicating friendships is that it is quite difficult to know if they really have become friends or not.

When Lillian B Rubin did interviews and followed up friendships threads across acquaintance circuits, so she discovered that the entire 64 percent not at all mentioned the person they themselves had said was their best or close friend. 64% of your friends see you, maybe not as a friend at all. Horrible thought!

Should we go back to the primitive of friendship and require mixed blood and two tightly compressed thumbs? Or is it perhaps time to see the friendship in a new way? Perhaps as a mood we are in, and that no other more than we can tell whether it is genuine or not?

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.