2016-08-04

Why I dwell and nagging again and again about the same thing all the time, and then of equal bad things that have happened before in my life?

Hi health psychologist

My friends say that I dwell and nagging again and again about the same thing all the time, and then of equal bad things that have happened before in my life.

Why do I do this all the time, and I'm about to lose my friends because I have this behavior and do this all the time when I meet my friends.

Mark


Hi Mark

Dwell we all do. Brooding over things that happened or could happen. But when the patio becomes an anguished and compulsively, becomes everyday life difficult. Comforting thoughts can help in the short term. But ultimately worsen rather than anxiety.

An example

"What if I have cancer!
No, I was explored in the last week. Phew.
But what if the doctor missed something!
No, they are so accurate, they told you clearly that everything looked good, it must be able to rely on. I do.
Though I heard all about the neighbor who has been with several doctors who have not found his cancer ... Help!
Well, he was probably an exception. My doctor is so good, that many have said.
But - what if she did not take my symptoms seriously, because she knows that I'm so worried. She may have missed something. "

When anxiety and fear just grind, then tries to find solace. Both in their own thoughts and the environment. And obviously wishes others spontaneously comfort those who are afraid, explaining that it probably is not that bad and try to prove it.

- But comfort and logic are completely wrong in that situation. In any case, when it comes to anxiety filled dwelling. Consolation experiments leading perhaps to the relief of the moment, but in the longer term, they increase only the anxiety and patio, says psychologist Olle Wadström.

Most people dwell on their problems sometimes. But for some, becomes the patio a big problem. They get caught up in thinking, trying to find solutions, but find immediately new concern. Porch can be about fears and concerns of various kinds, and even if such injustices, revenge and revenge.

Most pronounced is the tendency for anxiety-filled patio in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD, "obsessive compulsive disorder"), also known as "doubt sick". But even people without a diagnosis can have a tendency to anxiously terrace, which can be a big nuisance to them. They try to stop but can not.

- It's the same pattern of behavior in the anxiety-filled patio, whether it is about coercion, any other disorder or nothing at all, says Olle Wadström. Porch works the same as a type of compulsive behavior.

That we worry about things that might happen, or brooding over what has already happened, is not surprising. It is the ability to think abstractly that separates us from the animals, says Olle Wadström:

- Human beings live in a dangerous world. If we had not had the ability to think we would have been no chance. Physically speaking, we are entitled harmless, we have neither chlorine or strength. But thanks to our thinking, we can imagine the dangers beforehand, and to guard ourselves before them. This is why we so easily fantasize about various horror scenarios.

At compulsion becomes the imaginary dangers to an anxiety-provoking, powerful force that leads to trying to find measures to mitigate the fear. It may involve compulsive behaviors such as excessive washing of the body and the surroundings to avoid dirt and contamination. Behind the documents are anguished thoughts of danger. But for some, it is above all the attempts to their own thoughts allay fears that the forced act.

- Obsessive patio is common in such hypochondria, social anxiety disorder, body dysmorphic disorder - when you think you're ugly and looks strange - and jealousy, says Olle Wadström.

He has extensive experience as a psychotherapist and author of the book "Stop dwelling and brooding - easier with cognitive behavioral therapy" (Psychological Operation) where he analyzes how Porch works.

- Compulsive Behaviors aims to create security and peace, and eliminate the doubt. Dwell has the same function, and even everyday dwelling, he says.

Porch actually consists of two different kinds of thoughts, says Olle Wadström: uneasy thoughts and comforting thoughts. It's like an inner dialogue, where you argue with himself.

- As a tennis match. As long as the ball rolls, so long will the game on. Our brain invents new dangers all the time, and it is created for.

- The comforting thoughts intended to reduce turbulence, and they do well to begin with. But just that contributes to the new worries, says Olle Wadström. A behavior that is "rewarded" repeated.

- What drives the patio is uneasy thoughts lead to something positive. It is absurd, instead of to kill the evil strengthens comforting thoughts that. In the same way it is with other compulsions, or when to avoid it you are afraid of, or when you get assurances from others that something is not dangerous. All this reinforces the term unrest and lead to more coercive, evasions and questions.

Anxiety involves a physiological reaction in which the non-involuntary nervous system is very active and signals "danger". The heart stampeding, it feels as if you're going to faint, and it feels hard to breathe. When we are "saved" for the moment by comfort or escape from the situation we feel a little better.

The brain associate experience with the situation we found ourselves in, and that way we can "teach" us to be afraid of harmless things, and even more afraid of what we already feared, describes Olle Wadström.

- When we flee from what we fear, there are also new fears. How the brain. If I run for the life of a tiger, then it's fine if I then understand that lions are also dangerous.

- What you should do if you want to get rid of their anxiety-filled patio, is the opposite of what feels "natural" - to quit to seek solace, says Olle Wadström. It can be very difficult when anxiety is strong. It can also be difficult for the environment to stop to comfort those who are anxious and scared. But there are several techniques to use in order to prevent their comforting thoughts (see the opposite).

- When removing comforting thoughts of course increases the anxiety and discomfort thoughts, says Olle Wadström. But gradually reduces. So in the beginning you feel worse, to eventually feel better.

But consolation and solace thoughts, sounds like something positive. Sometimes it may well be fine with comfort?

- Yes, absolutely, but not in the case of anxiety is linked to the patio. You can round out there and say that when you really seem to need consolation for his constant concern, then you should probably refrain from comforting making.

Do not fight the unpleasant thoughts that these type that are downloaded freely from Olle Wadström book "Stop dwelling and brooding - easier done with cognitive behavioral therapy.

For example:

Gamble: "I will take a chance that I'm healthy. Whoever lives will see." Stand out with uncertainty.

Acceptance: "I have cancer, I have it." "Is he in love with her, he is there, you can not do anything about." Man unease accept the thoughts that true, or possibly true, and stand it.

"Worst idea": Spread on your worries and makes them worse, find new and frightening details and write them down. Finally appears the worst idea as too absurd to be taken seriously. You "disturbing expose" yourself for the daunting so that it loses its power.

It is important to simultaneously dispense behavior based on discomfort tanks. Do not avoid situations where thoughts can be brought, does nothing to verify the unpleasant fantasies or fears are not true.

Watch out that you do not make anti-comforting thoughts to comforting thoughts. If the tanks makes you more anxious for the moment, they're real!

Recognize your comforting thoughts in your patio

Tanks function is different for different people. The same thought can be an uneasy thought for one person, but a comforting thought for another. It is often easier to recognize their uneasiness thoughts, which arouses strong discomfort than comforting thoughts that can have many different shapes. The console of the moment, whether they are realistic or unrealistic.

For example:

Logical rebuttal and probability calculations. "It's just one of 30,000 who has that disease." Often helps the environment sympathetic to the arguments.

Explaining thoughts. "She did like that against me because she was depressed." "He really wanted to get back together with me, but he is too afraid of closeness." Looking for the answer to "why" and can give a temporary feeling of control and confidence.

Manipulation of the story. Could be a mind game, "what if I had done this instead", which relieves anxiety even though it can not change the past.

Revansch- and thoughts of revenge. "He will get all against him soon, and I get redress." "I can send an anonymous report." Usually when the dwelling is about wrongs that you think that others have done to one.

Seek professional help tru a mental health life coach like me her, or psychologist if you have problems with anxiety-filled patio that is not getting better.

You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.

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