Hi Coach
I have a very poor self-esteem that allows me to work there on a work year after year, and I do not feel comfortable with.
I seek and will enter other good courses. But not begin because I do not think I'll do it. This leads all the time that I then remain in the same job, and I do not feel comfortable with, and then I feel bad because of it. How can I break this pattern, coach?
Linn
Hi Linn!
You do not want your bad self confidence will turn you inside, as it has done to date in many ways. You want to find new ways to behave in, and dare more.
Let me start by reason of what a lack of confidence and self-esteem is that state, and we'll see how much you recognize you.
Poor self-esteem is all about how hard you are performing, you feel unsatisfied. You "are" their performance. Low self-esteem on the other hand means to be judgmental toward yourself, and do not put any value on itself. Low self-esteem determines how we function in daily life and has a great impact on many areas of life.
From what you describe in your letter I understand that it is best for your self-esteem as it is about. Therefore, I will dwell on it.
A person with low self-esteem have a low opinion of himself, and put great emphasis on their weaknesses and shortcomings, but not their strengths and resources, and are explicitly self-critical.
Low self-esteem is also reflected in the behavior. A person with low self-esteem have lost their needs or their opinion, has an apologetic attitude, avoiding not only challenges, but all with the danger of being judged. You worry about being exposed as a fake. It is hard to believe that what is successful depends on the skill and knowledge. In relationship to the environment is one shy and hypersensitive to criticism. It can go so far as to pull away from contact and closeness. Opposite behaviors are, where they try to hide their insecurity by always behave confidently and calmly.
Bad experience often leads to low self-esteem. Based on the experience it has gained a critical understanding of himself, and the life. Experiences that may have contributed to a poor self-esteem is not having met the parents or peers requirements and perceived as "odd" in the family or at school, and that seldom have received praise, warmth and interest from its surroundings.
Do you recognize yourself? Low self-esteem is a way of thinking and behaving that in many ways is learned from an early age, but you can find ways to break with. However, let me also alert you to low self-esteem can sometimes be an element of a depression, or long-lasting problems with anxiety. If this applies to you is an efficient solution that you seek treatment for the primary problem.
You can also try on their own to find ways to break your learned circles for how you think and behave. You can say that you can begin to train you in getting a better sense of self by thinking and doing the opposite. How?
Try out this exercise (steps go a little into each other, but I describe it in stages for it to become more transparent).
Step 1. Become more attuned to the situations in which your bad self esteem strikes. Explore the thoughts, feelings and ethics that govern your actions when you want to start an education and then decide not to do it. We can call them your risk situations for acute low self-esteem. Write down the thoughts, feelings and ethics that you get in these situations.
Step 2. Next, you explore the plausibility of the thought, feeling or living rule that triggered your acute lack of self-esteem, and that is an obstacle to doing what you really want to do. A person with poor self-esteem can be based on their experiences have taught negative automatic thoughts, feelings, or maxims, such as: I will never let anyone see my true self, or it is better not to do something than to fail. It is of course difficult to live and come into its own with this kind of learned rules.
Ask yourself questions that will help you explore how these thoughts and maxims have come into your life. Would you, today, live from what those rules of life and express thoughts? How would a more loving thought or rule of life to let?
Remember that as an adult it is you who choose your own ethics. You may choose new precepts, and prepare yourself to be in situations that you would normally avoid. The aim is to making new adult experience shows that you can do more than what you think about.
Remember! To be an adult is to learn to live with their vulnerability and not get rid of it.
Step 3. Do what you want to do in the situation, encouraged by your new, more loving and tolerant thoughts and maxims. Use this way every day for eight weeks, and then evaluate how it has helped you become more attuned to how you "fooled" by your learned negative thoughts, feelings and ethics of yourself, and have been able to do more of what you want. Please continue for a long time to do this if you find that it helps you break the pattern you describe in your letter.
Step 4. Clarify for yourself what your goals are, both in everyday life and in the longer term to change jobs. Think about your values: What is important to you in your life? Please write them down. Read what you wrote down carefully, and ask you what you want to do in the next few weeks, and eventually, to get in tune with what you value. How can your values help you take the first step in being able for example to change jobs? The idea of my questions is that you let your values govern you and give you strength, for example, dare to start the training you want to bet on.
Step 5. To initiate a change usually arouse anxiety, fear and other negative emotions. Remind you then that our negative thoughts and feelings are the result of our past experiences. Not infrequently, they warn us of the dangers we have experienced in the past, but that is not always true today. They are not always true. This you will discover more and more clearly as you do the exercises above, and no longer let your fears control what you do. It is about learning to live with your fears and do what is important to you in life today.
You can surf over your fear of doing what you want to do by having as a supportive self-talk that this is just overly critical thoughts or my old fears. I do not believe in, or let myself be guided by them. I can let them be within me, while I do what I want anyway.
Warm greetings and good luck Linn!
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
I have a very poor self-esteem that allows me to work there on a work year after year, and I do not feel comfortable with.
I seek and will enter other good courses. But not begin because I do not think I'll do it. This leads all the time that I then remain in the same job, and I do not feel comfortable with, and then I feel bad because of it. How can I break this pattern, coach?
Linn
Hi Linn!
You do not want your bad self confidence will turn you inside, as it has done to date in many ways. You want to find new ways to behave in, and dare more.
Let me start by reason of what a lack of confidence and self-esteem is that state, and we'll see how much you recognize you.
Poor self-esteem is all about how hard you are performing, you feel unsatisfied. You "are" their performance. Low self-esteem on the other hand means to be judgmental toward yourself, and do not put any value on itself. Low self-esteem determines how we function in daily life and has a great impact on many areas of life.
From what you describe in your letter I understand that it is best for your self-esteem as it is about. Therefore, I will dwell on it.
A person with low self-esteem have a low opinion of himself, and put great emphasis on their weaknesses and shortcomings, but not their strengths and resources, and are explicitly self-critical.
Low self-esteem is also reflected in the behavior. A person with low self-esteem have lost their needs or their opinion, has an apologetic attitude, avoiding not only challenges, but all with the danger of being judged. You worry about being exposed as a fake. It is hard to believe that what is successful depends on the skill and knowledge. In relationship to the environment is one shy and hypersensitive to criticism. It can go so far as to pull away from contact and closeness. Opposite behaviors are, where they try to hide their insecurity by always behave confidently and calmly.
Bad experience often leads to low self-esteem. Based on the experience it has gained a critical understanding of himself, and the life. Experiences that may have contributed to a poor self-esteem is not having met the parents or peers requirements and perceived as "odd" in the family or at school, and that seldom have received praise, warmth and interest from its surroundings.
Do you recognize yourself? Low self-esteem is a way of thinking and behaving that in many ways is learned from an early age, but you can find ways to break with. However, let me also alert you to low self-esteem can sometimes be an element of a depression, or long-lasting problems with anxiety. If this applies to you is an efficient solution that you seek treatment for the primary problem.
You can also try on their own to find ways to break your learned circles for how you think and behave. You can say that you can begin to train you in getting a better sense of self by thinking and doing the opposite. How?
Try out this exercise (steps go a little into each other, but I describe it in stages for it to become more transparent).
Step 1. Become more attuned to the situations in which your bad self esteem strikes. Explore the thoughts, feelings and ethics that govern your actions when you want to start an education and then decide not to do it. We can call them your risk situations for acute low self-esteem. Write down the thoughts, feelings and ethics that you get in these situations.
Step 2. Next, you explore the plausibility of the thought, feeling or living rule that triggered your acute lack of self-esteem, and that is an obstacle to doing what you really want to do. A person with poor self-esteem can be based on their experiences have taught negative automatic thoughts, feelings, or maxims, such as: I will never let anyone see my true self, or it is better not to do something than to fail. It is of course difficult to live and come into its own with this kind of learned rules.
Ask yourself questions that will help you explore how these thoughts and maxims have come into your life. Would you, today, live from what those rules of life and express thoughts? How would a more loving thought or rule of life to let?
Remember that as an adult it is you who choose your own ethics. You may choose new precepts, and prepare yourself to be in situations that you would normally avoid. The aim is to making new adult experience shows that you can do more than what you think about.
Remember! To be an adult is to learn to live with their vulnerability and not get rid of it.
Step 3. Do what you want to do in the situation, encouraged by your new, more loving and tolerant thoughts and maxims. Use this way every day for eight weeks, and then evaluate how it has helped you become more attuned to how you "fooled" by your learned negative thoughts, feelings and ethics of yourself, and have been able to do more of what you want. Please continue for a long time to do this if you find that it helps you break the pattern you describe in your letter.
Step 4. Clarify for yourself what your goals are, both in everyday life and in the longer term to change jobs. Think about your values: What is important to you in your life? Please write them down. Read what you wrote down carefully, and ask you what you want to do in the next few weeks, and eventually, to get in tune with what you value. How can your values help you take the first step in being able for example to change jobs? The idea of my questions is that you let your values govern you and give you strength, for example, dare to start the training you want to bet on.
Step 5. To initiate a change usually arouse anxiety, fear and other negative emotions. Remind you then that our negative thoughts and feelings are the result of our past experiences. Not infrequently, they warn us of the dangers we have experienced in the past, but that is not always true today. They are not always true. This you will discover more and more clearly as you do the exercises above, and no longer let your fears control what you do. It is about learning to live with your fears and do what is important to you in life today.
You can surf over your fear of doing what you want to do by having as a supportive self-talk that this is just overly critical thoughts or my old fears. I do not believe in, or let myself be guided by them. I can let them be within me, while I do what I want anyway.
Warm greetings and good luck Linn!
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
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