Hi Coach
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.Hi Coach
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.
I get destructive thoughts but has a social context around it so that I can handle them. It may be more about: "Think how nice it would be if I was involved in an accident so I had to be looked after," or "hope dad is waiting for me, because I'm not ready to die yet."
When I was younger, I tried to tear myself with nails. Teenage outbreaks could do so that I ripped and tore at my hair. I also cried out loud that I wanted the mother would take me, and all of us to psych. A cry for help: please help me to get in touch with someone I can talk to. But it was dismissed with reference to the stigma that is still going to psych. Or that our problems were not so serious.
Now I'm 26. Working life and active leisure keeps me going. I have been a quiet workplace so now I feel that I can focus on the grief for a while. How can you do? What can trigger me cry. For it would be so nice?
But what should I do to not have hurt so much that I have sometimes? So much that I'm shaking inside - when I allow myself.
At the moment I made contact with a pastor, I feel confident. Partly because he could see me right immediately. Partly because it is free and a good start to maybe start talking about it that hurts. Evil will always remain inside?
Dad's last Christmas he was sick, it was not my dad who had leave then, he was not the same. He died a few weeks later.
Do I have to accept that it will do so this hurts the rest of my life? Is there nothing I can do to make it hurt less?
Grateful for the help and good advice from you life coach!
Sarah
Hi Sarah
You should consult a psychologist for therapy in order to process your grief for your father. So here, 15 years later, it should not have to do so much and be as painful as it is for you. Did you get help when you were a child, to process the grief it had not been so. Then you had been able to remember your father and feel differently than you do today. It is true that you probably felt a regret, but the pain you feel now suggesting that your grief is stuck and hung.
How can it be when for some reason not given the opportunity to mourn. As you describe it, there was no one who understood how you felt, and thus you got no help. Grief is a process that often can see.
When the awful happens usually end up in shock and not able to take in what has happened. Then the reaction phase where it reacts in a variety of ways. Then release the shock and you feel. Then follows a time of processing and finally begin to find a way to work again despite - and with - it has happened.
A child whose parent dies, usually need support to deal with the infinitely great regret that means a beloved parent leaves the child. Maybe you had none at all to talk to? Maybe your mother is not available to you? You tried to attract attention but was off whisk that it would be shameful to seek help.
It is nevertheless remarkable that your mother or other adults in your neighborhood did not understand to help you with your great sorrow. And if your mom and others around themselves were busy with their own grief had really wished that your call-to-help attempts later had been taken seriously. But that was sadly not.
Now you are 26 years old and adult enough to take your frozen grief seriously. Find a life coach or a psychologist / psychotherapist. You can ask for with your family doctor where to turn to you, or find a livcoach on the internet like me here who can help you.
Wait no longer now, but make sure you get help.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.Hi Coach
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.
I get destructive thoughts but has a social context around it so that I can handle them. It may be more about: "Think how nice it would be if I was involved in an accident so I had to be looked after," or "hope dad is waiting for me, because I'm not ready to die yet."
When I was younger, I tried to tear myself with nails. Teenage outbreaks could do so that I ripped and tore at my hair. I also cried out loud that I wanted the mother would take me, and all of us to psych. A cry for help: please help me to get in touch with someone I can talk to. But it was dismissed with reference to the stigma that is still going to psych. Or that our problems were not so serious.
Now I'm 26. Working life and active leisure keeps me going. I have been a quiet workplace so now I feel that I can focus on the grief for a while. How can you do? What can trigger me cry. For it would be so nice?
But what should I do to not have hurt so much that I have sometimes? So much that I'm shaking inside - when I allow myself.
At the moment I made contact with a pastor, I feel confident. Partly because he could see me right immediately. Partly because it is free and a good start to maybe start talking about it that hurts. Evil will always remain inside?
Dad's last Christmas he was sick, it was not my dad who had leave then, he was not the same. He died a few weeks later.
Do I have to accept that it will do so this hurts the rest of my life? Is there nothing I can do to make it hurt less?
Grateful for the help and good advice from you life coach!
Sarah
Hi Sarah
You should consult a psychologist for therapy in order to process your grief for your father. So here, 15 years later, it should not have to do so much and be as painful as it is for you. Did you get help when you were a child, to process the grief it had not been so. Then you had been able to remember your father and feel differently than you do today. It is true that you probably felt a regret, but the pain you feel now suggesting that your grief is stuck and hung.
How can it be when for some reason not given the opportunity to mourn. As you describe it, there was no one who understood how you felt, and thus you got no help. Grief is a process that often can see.
When the awful happens usually end up in shock and not able to take in what has happened. Then the reaction phase where it reacts in a variety of ways. Then release the shock and you feel. Then follows a time of processing and finally begin to find a way to work again despite - and with - it has happened.
A child whose parent dies, usually need support to deal with the infinitely great regret that means a beloved parent leaves the child. Maybe you had none at all to talk to? Maybe your mother is not available to you? You tried to attract attention but was off whisk that it would be shameful to seek help.
It is nevertheless remarkable that your mother or other adults in your neighborhood did not understand to help you with your great sorrow. And if your mom and others around themselves were busy with their own grief had really wished that your call-to-help attempts later had been taken seriously. But that was sadly not.
Now you are 26 years old and adult enough to take your frozen grief seriously. Find a life coach or a psychologist / psychotherapist. You can ask for with your family doctor where to turn to you, or find a livcoach on the internet like me here who can help you.
Wait no longer now, but make sure you get help.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
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