2016-07-28
How do I stop wondering and dwelling on all my different concerns and problems that I have, and I am now constantly worry and think about?
Hello life coach
I am an expert in brood over and dwell on different things that kind.
I would have chosen the other pants? Did she think I seemed stupid for saying that? Head cheered on me this morning, I get fired now?
Do you have any good tips on how you can and I will end up with this?
Lira
Hi Lira
The living brooding may seem quite innocent but research shows that it can bring with it a whole pile boring side effects. The negative feelings that create turmoil is likely to deepen and last longer when they are constantly reinforced by tanks, says psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, who for many years conducted research on self-focused brooding. Both the ability and motivation to solve problems instead of just thinking about them liable to deteriorate and it becomes difficult to concentrate.
But with the right tools and a little practice you can learn to clear away the worry and rumination out of your mind river. It will give you more power and energy, stronger belief in yourself and a better well-being!
Here are 15 tips on how you can end up having to brood and dwell on and worry:
1. If you are brooding over things you can not do anything about - use the rubber band trick. Put a rubber band around your wrist and pull to release it and every time you think the meaningless thoughts. That way you will both reminded not to do it and you notice how often you do it that does not really do any good so you can stop it.
2. Release the things you can not change or influence. Concentrate on what you can change or influence.
3. How good or bad a situation is now, it will change. Thats how it is.
4. Stop caring so much about how you feel. How do you feel the way you feel. It will soon pass. What you think is what you are thinking. It will soon disappear too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, that you feel and what you're thinking, that you think. Since you can not stop yourself from thinking and feeling so there is no point to care about that stuff. It's just what you do that you can control. Continue to do good things.
5. Force yourself to stop worrying. Concerns only makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. Once you are set to find the first sign of trouble, you will very soon find something that is related to what you are worried about.
6. Get quiet on the commentator in the head. If you want to be happy, stop say to yourself that you are unhappy. People are constantly talking about for themselves how they feel, what they think and what others think of them. Most of it is pure imagination, and the rest is equally lies and misunderstandings. You really understand just a little of what others think about you and they do not think of you as much as you think. They think about what others think about them.
7. Note your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Whatever you do, someone else will do it better. How bad you are, there are always those who are worse off. Compete against yourself and was the best you can be.
8. Drop the debt, you know. The reason is simple: Debt does not change anything at all. It makes you feel responsible, but produces nothing new in your life. If you feel guilty for something you did, correct it or accept that you screwed up and do not do it again. Then release it. If you feel guilty for something that someone else has done, seek help.
9. Do not drink alcohol when you are angry, sad or have to rush off. Take a brisk walk or a jog instead.
10. Stop worry about what other people say about you. Wicked people can not make you angry. Nice people can not make you happy. Events and people are just events and people.They can not make you anything. You must do this yourself. What emotions than the one brought up by outside events, they are powerless to picking them up and decide what they do with you. In addition, other people much more concerned to think about what you think about them than to think of you.
11. Stop doing immoral things just because you can do them. Start by being honest with yourself and others. Do not cheat, be faithful, be kind. Do the right thing. It gives you a lot less complicated life.
12. Stop complaining and worry. Begin to focus on the things you can control and do something about them. Those who complain most in this world are those that provide the least. And when you worry, you use your imagination to create things you do not want.
13. Do not be so dramatic. Spend less time gossiping about problems and more time to help yourself and others to solve them. Stay away from other people over dramatization and not create their own similar situations.
14. Do not blame others. Take responsibility for what happens in your life. Blaming others provide exactly zero results and extends only your suffering. Whether you own your problems or they own you. It's your choice. When you blame others for what you are going through so you deny your responsibility and give up the power over your own life. Have you thought about that?
15. Do not lie to yourself. You can lie to anyone in the world before you are lying to yourself. Our life can only get better when we take chances and the first and most important opportunity is to be honest with himself.
Something to think about - and for you to work with to get a good life.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
I am an expert in brood over and dwell on different things that kind.
I would have chosen the other pants? Did she think I seemed stupid for saying that? Head cheered on me this morning, I get fired now?
Do you have any good tips on how you can and I will end up with this?
Lira
Hi Lira
The living brooding may seem quite innocent but research shows that it can bring with it a whole pile boring side effects. The negative feelings that create turmoil is likely to deepen and last longer when they are constantly reinforced by tanks, says psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, who for many years conducted research on self-focused brooding. Both the ability and motivation to solve problems instead of just thinking about them liable to deteriorate and it becomes difficult to concentrate.
But with the right tools and a little practice you can learn to clear away the worry and rumination out of your mind river. It will give you more power and energy, stronger belief in yourself and a better well-being!
Here are 15 tips on how you can end up having to brood and dwell on and worry:
1. If you are brooding over things you can not do anything about - use the rubber band trick. Put a rubber band around your wrist and pull to release it and every time you think the meaningless thoughts. That way you will both reminded not to do it and you notice how often you do it that does not really do any good so you can stop it.
2. Release the things you can not change or influence. Concentrate on what you can change or influence.
3. How good or bad a situation is now, it will change. Thats how it is.
4. Stop caring so much about how you feel. How do you feel the way you feel. It will soon pass. What you think is what you are thinking. It will soon disappear too. Tell yourself that whatever you feel, that you feel and what you're thinking, that you think. Since you can not stop yourself from thinking and feeling so there is no point to care about that stuff. It's just what you do that you can control. Continue to do good things.
5. Force yourself to stop worrying. Concerns only makes things worse. The more you think about something bad, the more likely it is to happen. Once you are set to find the first sign of trouble, you will very soon find something that is related to what you are worried about.
6. Get quiet on the commentator in the head. If you want to be happy, stop say to yourself that you are unhappy. People are constantly talking about for themselves how they feel, what they think and what others think of them. Most of it is pure imagination, and the rest is equally lies and misunderstandings. You really understand just a little of what others think about you and they do not think of you as much as you think. They think about what others think about them.
7. Note your inner critic. Judging yourself is pointless. Whatever you do, someone else will do it better. How bad you are, there are always those who are worse off. Compete against yourself and was the best you can be.
8. Drop the debt, you know. The reason is simple: Debt does not change anything at all. It makes you feel responsible, but produces nothing new in your life. If you feel guilty for something you did, correct it or accept that you screwed up and do not do it again. Then release it. If you feel guilty for something that someone else has done, seek help.
9. Do not drink alcohol when you are angry, sad or have to rush off. Take a brisk walk or a jog instead.
10. Stop worry about what other people say about you. Wicked people can not make you angry. Nice people can not make you happy. Events and people are just events and people.They can not make you anything. You must do this yourself. What emotions than the one brought up by outside events, they are powerless to picking them up and decide what they do with you. In addition, other people much more concerned to think about what you think about them than to think of you.
11. Stop doing immoral things just because you can do them. Start by being honest with yourself and others. Do not cheat, be faithful, be kind. Do the right thing. It gives you a lot less complicated life.
12. Stop complaining and worry. Begin to focus on the things you can control and do something about them. Those who complain most in this world are those that provide the least. And when you worry, you use your imagination to create things you do not want.
13. Do not be so dramatic. Spend less time gossiping about problems and more time to help yourself and others to solve them. Stay away from other people over dramatization and not create their own similar situations.
14. Do not blame others. Take responsibility for what happens in your life. Blaming others provide exactly zero results and extends only your suffering. Whether you own your problems or they own you. It's your choice. When you blame others for what you are going through so you deny your responsibility and give up the power over your own life. Have you thought about that?
15. Do not lie to yourself. You can lie to anyone in the world before you are lying to yourself. Our life can only get better when we take chances and the first and most important opportunity is to be honest with himself.
Something to think about - and for you to work with to get a good life.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-27
2016-07-26
Wisdom words and quotes of: That and those that make you angry will control you
 |
| Wisdom words and quotes of: That and those that make you angry will control you |
That and those that make you angry will control you
By author / writer Mr Chris Savage
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-25
2016-07-22
2016-07-21
How do I stop dwelling on that I do not have a partner?
Hi coach
I am a soon 23 year old woman who just started a university education. My "problem" may sound trite, but I find it very debilitating. Briefly, I spend an awful lot of my time to dwell on that I never had a boyfriend and worry that I will never get anywhere.
I go from blaming myself, to feel "abnormal" and unattractive, being self-pitying, etc., to feel the sheer panic that I will never fall in love and have a relationship. I realize how ridiculous it is, and I will certainly meet with somebody, it's only a matter of time, etc., but then I continue to brood and brood. My brooding can ruin a whole day for me and make me miserable, distracted, unsociable and taciturn. I become bitter and jealous when I see couples, and feel like everyone in my age either have, or have had, a relationship.
For about half a year ago I was depressed and then be this brooding most focused that I had never had sex. It went so far that I drank myself blind drunk, went out at the pub, and followed the first best thing to home. Was feeling after this horribly bad !! My obsession at this point becomes even stronger when I've been drinking, and I'm afraid that I can do something I'll regret again in a drunken state.
I want to know how to get rid of these "obsessions" and stop seeing myself as "abnormal". Do not know if this pondering really has to do with poor self-esteem or confirmation needs.
Grateful for answers and good advice on how I can get help with this!
Mira
Hi Mira
Thank you for your question. You talk about your dwelling and brooding, and when you do, you describe a very common human behavior.
Let's start here. You wonder what ältande really is. The psychologist Olle Wadström describes in the book Stop dwelling and pondering in a concrete and instructive how dwelling works and how to overcome it with the help of cognitive behavioral therapy. I recommend you to read the book as self-help.
Dwellings thoughts. Our dwelling is often futile attempts to find answers to questions you can not answer. It is sometimes also our way of thinking trying to protect us from anxiety or an anxiety that we have. We dwell happily also things that we think is embarrassing to ask about or talk about.
You wonder if ältande's "obsessions" and if it is with "low self esteem" to do. What we do know is that psychological state as obsessive compulsive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder often have elements of persistently ältande and brooding. Dwelling is a way to try to convince yourself and find clarity and calmness to feel better.
Dwelling consists of two types of tanks that switches from one another in a stream of thoughts. One kind of thoughts are those of concern and unease. They act as "scarers" and is known as the uneasiness thoughts. They are followed by the other type of tanks. They have the function to try to eliminate uneasiness, uncertainty, doubt and discomfort caused. The tanks are called "comforting thoughts." They provide a calm, but only for brief moments. They are not effective enough and the turmoil will come pretty soon.
Olle Wadström uses in his book metaphor to dwelling is the brain's "tennis". When one side beats of a scary thought, then returns the other hand, a comforting thought, and every time a thought comes across on the other side to turn it back. The game can continue indefinitely.
What can we do to stop dwelling? When you feel discomfort, it is our human instinct to act to get rid of it. If we continue to see dwelling as a tennis match, so the solution is not to turn the ball back when uneasiness page has been serviced. Disinclination page will continue to beat serves a while, but when the consolation side does not hit back taking servers out and the game ends.
The technique used to achieve this is called acceptance. You have probably heard of acceptance. It is a way of relating to unwanted and unpleasant thoughts and feelings that are part of the psychotherapeutic method called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, ACT. It's about that as a positive action chooses to accept the discomfort you feel and do not act on it, but chooses to behave based on what favors the short and long term. You can read more about how to do this at the behavioral level, and other tools to break his dwelling in Olle Wadström book. You can of course also choose to go into psychotherapy with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist who teaches the ACT.
I want to give you some further reflections to consider. One way to act in a direction that may be helpful for you might be to be even more in the context where you can meet a man. Think happy on the social context in which it can be. How much interest you show when you meet a man you will find sympathetic and exciting? What signals about this, you might be even better at signaling?
And one last reflection. In times of anxiety and depression, it may be wise to avoid self-care as regularly drinking large amounts of alcohol, especially binge drinking. Alcohol can affect the function of the brain's reward system and the breakdown of neurotransmitters in the brain in a way that depression and anxiety are amplified in the long term. Especially in periods of life when one is vulnerable and are working to change his life, it might be wise to be cautious with alcohol.
And I hope my answers will be helpful for you!
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
I am a soon 23 year old woman who just started a university education. My "problem" may sound trite, but I find it very debilitating. Briefly, I spend an awful lot of my time to dwell on that I never had a boyfriend and worry that I will never get anywhere.
I go from blaming myself, to feel "abnormal" and unattractive, being self-pitying, etc., to feel the sheer panic that I will never fall in love and have a relationship. I realize how ridiculous it is, and I will certainly meet with somebody, it's only a matter of time, etc., but then I continue to brood and brood. My brooding can ruin a whole day for me and make me miserable, distracted, unsociable and taciturn. I become bitter and jealous when I see couples, and feel like everyone in my age either have, or have had, a relationship.
For about half a year ago I was depressed and then be this brooding most focused that I had never had sex. It went so far that I drank myself blind drunk, went out at the pub, and followed the first best thing to home. Was feeling after this horribly bad !! My obsession at this point becomes even stronger when I've been drinking, and I'm afraid that I can do something I'll regret again in a drunken state.
I want to know how to get rid of these "obsessions" and stop seeing myself as "abnormal". Do not know if this pondering really has to do with poor self-esteem or confirmation needs.
Grateful for answers and good advice on how I can get help with this!
Mira
Hi Mira
Thank you for your question. You talk about your dwelling and brooding, and when you do, you describe a very common human behavior.
Let's start here. You wonder what ältande really is. The psychologist Olle Wadström describes in the book Stop dwelling and pondering in a concrete and instructive how dwelling works and how to overcome it with the help of cognitive behavioral therapy. I recommend you to read the book as self-help.
Dwellings thoughts. Our dwelling is often futile attempts to find answers to questions you can not answer. It is sometimes also our way of thinking trying to protect us from anxiety or an anxiety that we have. We dwell happily also things that we think is embarrassing to ask about or talk about.
You wonder if ältande's "obsessions" and if it is with "low self esteem" to do. What we do know is that psychological state as obsessive compulsive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder often have elements of persistently ältande and brooding. Dwelling is a way to try to convince yourself and find clarity and calmness to feel better.
Dwelling consists of two types of tanks that switches from one another in a stream of thoughts. One kind of thoughts are those of concern and unease. They act as "scarers" and is known as the uneasiness thoughts. They are followed by the other type of tanks. They have the function to try to eliminate uneasiness, uncertainty, doubt and discomfort caused. The tanks are called "comforting thoughts." They provide a calm, but only for brief moments. They are not effective enough and the turmoil will come pretty soon.
Olle Wadström uses in his book metaphor to dwelling is the brain's "tennis". When one side beats of a scary thought, then returns the other hand, a comforting thought, and every time a thought comes across on the other side to turn it back. The game can continue indefinitely.
What can we do to stop dwelling? When you feel discomfort, it is our human instinct to act to get rid of it. If we continue to see dwelling as a tennis match, so the solution is not to turn the ball back when uneasiness page has been serviced. Disinclination page will continue to beat serves a while, but when the consolation side does not hit back taking servers out and the game ends.
The technique used to achieve this is called acceptance. You have probably heard of acceptance. It is a way of relating to unwanted and unpleasant thoughts and feelings that are part of the psychotherapeutic method called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, ACT. It's about that as a positive action chooses to accept the discomfort you feel and do not act on it, but chooses to behave based on what favors the short and long term. You can read more about how to do this at the behavioral level, and other tools to break his dwelling in Olle Wadström book. You can of course also choose to go into psychotherapy with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist who teaches the ACT.
I want to give you some further reflections to consider. One way to act in a direction that may be helpful for you might be to be even more in the context where you can meet a man. Think happy on the social context in which it can be. How much interest you show when you meet a man you will find sympathetic and exciting? What signals about this, you might be even better at signaling?
And one last reflection. In times of anxiety and depression, it may be wise to avoid self-care as regularly drinking large amounts of alcohol, especially binge drinking. Alcohol can affect the function of the brain's reward system and the breakdown of neurotransmitters in the brain in a way that depression and anxiety are amplified in the long term. Especially in periods of life when one is vulnerable and are working to change his life, it might be wise to be cautious with alcohol.
And I hope my answers will be helpful for you!
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-20
2016-07-19
Wisdom words and quotes of: Do not waste your time on getting people to love you Spending time with those who already love you
 |
| Do not waste your time on getting people to love you Spending time with those who already love you |
Do not waste your time on getting people to love you
Spending time with those who already love you
By author / writer Mr Chris Savage
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-18
2016-07-15
2016-07-14
How and what can I do to a wound not be opened up again every fall and winter of grief for my dead parents?
Hi Coach
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.Hi Coach
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.
I get destructive thoughts but has a social context around it so that I can handle them. It may be more about: "Think how nice it would be if I was involved in an accident so I had to be looked after," or "hope dad is waiting for me, because I'm not ready to die yet."
When I was younger, I tried to tear myself with nails. Teenage outbreaks could do so that I ripped and tore at my hair. I also cried out loud that I wanted the mother would take me, and all of us to psych. A cry for help: please help me to get in touch with someone I can talk to. But it was dismissed with reference to the stigma that is still going to psych. Or that our problems were not so serious.
Now I'm 26. Working life and active leisure keeps me going. I have been a quiet workplace so now I feel that I can focus on the grief for a while. How can you do? What can trigger me cry. For it would be so nice?
But what should I do to not have hurt so much that I have sometimes? So much that I'm shaking inside - when I allow myself.
At the moment I made contact with a pastor, I feel confident. Partly because he could see me right immediately. Partly because it is free and a good start to maybe start talking about it that hurts. Evil will always remain inside?
Dad's last Christmas he was sick, it was not my dad who had leave then, he was not the same. He died a few weeks later.
Do I have to accept that it will do so this hurts the rest of my life? Is there nothing I can do to make it hurt less?
Grateful for the help and good advice from you life coach!
Sarah
Hi Sarah
You should consult a psychologist for therapy in order to process your grief for your father. So here, 15 years later, it should not have to do so much and be as painful as it is for you. Did you get help when you were a child, to process the grief it had not been so. Then you had been able to remember your father and feel differently than you do today. It is true that you probably felt a regret, but the pain you feel now suggesting that your grief is stuck and hung.
How can it be when for some reason not given the opportunity to mourn. As you describe it, there was no one who understood how you felt, and thus you got no help. Grief is a process that often can see.
When the awful happens usually end up in shock and not able to take in what has happened. Then the reaction phase where it reacts in a variety of ways. Then release the shock and you feel. Then follows a time of processing and finally begin to find a way to work again despite - and with - it has happened.
A child whose parent dies, usually need support to deal with the infinitely great regret that means a beloved parent leaves the child. Maybe you had none at all to talk to? Maybe your mother is not available to you? You tried to attract attention but was off whisk that it would be shameful to seek help.
It is nevertheless remarkable that your mother or other adults in your neighborhood did not understand to help you with your great sorrow. And if your mom and others around themselves were busy with their own grief had really wished that your call-to-help attempts later had been taken seriously. But that was sadly not.
Now you are 26 years old and adult enough to take your frozen grief seriously. Find a life coach or a psychologist / psychotherapist. You can ask for with your family doctor where to turn to you, or find a livcoach on the internet like me here who can help you.
Wait no longer now, but make sure you get help.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.Hi Coach
I lost my father nine years old. And every fall / winter open my wound again. I bleed inside and do not know what I'm going to go.
Every year this time, I read books about grief, writes about dad, trying to process. I want to cry but I can not. It only hurts, and it has done so much for so long.
In spring and summer I can think off. But the autumn, with reflection and consideration.
I get destructive thoughts but has a social context around it so that I can handle them. It may be more about: "Think how nice it would be if I was involved in an accident so I had to be looked after," or "hope dad is waiting for me, because I'm not ready to die yet."
When I was younger, I tried to tear myself with nails. Teenage outbreaks could do so that I ripped and tore at my hair. I also cried out loud that I wanted the mother would take me, and all of us to psych. A cry for help: please help me to get in touch with someone I can talk to. But it was dismissed with reference to the stigma that is still going to psych. Or that our problems were not so serious.
Now I'm 26. Working life and active leisure keeps me going. I have been a quiet workplace so now I feel that I can focus on the grief for a while. How can you do? What can trigger me cry. For it would be so nice?
But what should I do to not have hurt so much that I have sometimes? So much that I'm shaking inside - when I allow myself.
At the moment I made contact with a pastor, I feel confident. Partly because he could see me right immediately. Partly because it is free and a good start to maybe start talking about it that hurts. Evil will always remain inside?
Dad's last Christmas he was sick, it was not my dad who had leave then, he was not the same. He died a few weeks later.
Do I have to accept that it will do so this hurts the rest of my life? Is there nothing I can do to make it hurt less?
Grateful for the help and good advice from you life coach!
Sarah
Hi Sarah
You should consult a psychologist for therapy in order to process your grief for your father. So here, 15 years later, it should not have to do so much and be as painful as it is for you. Did you get help when you were a child, to process the grief it had not been so. Then you had been able to remember your father and feel differently than you do today. It is true that you probably felt a regret, but the pain you feel now suggesting that your grief is stuck and hung.
How can it be when for some reason not given the opportunity to mourn. As you describe it, there was no one who understood how you felt, and thus you got no help. Grief is a process that often can see.
When the awful happens usually end up in shock and not able to take in what has happened. Then the reaction phase where it reacts in a variety of ways. Then release the shock and you feel. Then follows a time of processing and finally begin to find a way to work again despite - and with - it has happened.
A child whose parent dies, usually need support to deal with the infinitely great regret that means a beloved parent leaves the child. Maybe you had none at all to talk to? Maybe your mother is not available to you? You tried to attract attention but was off whisk that it would be shameful to seek help.
It is nevertheless remarkable that your mother or other adults in your neighborhood did not understand to help you with your great sorrow. And if your mom and others around themselves were busy with their own grief had really wished that your call-to-help attempts later had been taken seriously. But that was sadly not.
Now you are 26 years old and adult enough to take your frozen grief seriously. Find a life coach or a psychologist / psychotherapist. You can ask for with your family doctor where to turn to you, or find a livcoach on the internet like me here who can help you.
Wait no longer now, but make sure you get help.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-13
2016-07-12
Wisdom words and quotes of: You have to work for a change to take place So stop wishing and start doing it
 |
| Wisdom words and quotes of: You have to work for a change to take place So stop wishing and start doing it |
You have to work for a change to take place
So stop wishing and start doing it
By author / writer Mr Chris Savage
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-11
2016-07-08
2016-07-07
What do I do when and if my parents are over-active on various social media such as Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, etc?
Hello life coach
I am a girl who is the center of my life, and now has a mother who is overactive in social media. In the beginning, I experienced it as funny that my mom found new ways to communicate with family and friends but it has totally derailed. She always phone currently picking diligently with it even when we have coffee and socialize. It's almost like she was competing to "like" the most.
We have always had a close relationship and have been able to share life's joys and sorrows. Mom has always respected my privacy and never intruded on my friends and colleagues - until she became active in social media. Now it's like that all latches released. She is everything I write, commenting on whatever topic and "like" everything I post. Often the mother in such a hurry to comment that she did not even read what it is about, this leads to strange comments and posts that are not relevant and that create tense atmosphere. It should be added that the mother can not really read the nuances of the language and ironic undertones. It often become just embarrassing.
I myself am not super active but would like to write more. I love to debate and discuss with my friends. Now I draw me to write because I know that it only takes a minute before mother "liked" or commented on.
My friends and other family has begun noticed this and it happens that when I write something or share a picture, wondering how long it will take this time before mamsen go.
On a few occasions I have tried to talk to my mom about this, but she does not seem to understand my waves. I really do not have to block her because I know how hurt she would be. It feels like this prevent me in my own life, I feel hunted.
We have discussed this at home but we do not know how to handle it. Mom has begun to follow my husband with almost the same frenzy. I myself have children in adulthood, active in social media. I commented only that dirrekt move our family, me or at such birthdays.
It has always been important to my kids have their own space, I penetrate me, but is there anyway. It's important to talk about, we face to face and not via social media. They have the right to discuss things with their friends, but I put myself in, the right to privacy. It has also, but I do not know how I'm going to get my mother to understand it?
With kind regards and many thanks in advance for your life coach.
Elisabeth
Hi Elisabeth
Your sense is that you are being chased by your mother. You feel that she indiscriminately follow you on social media and that she remotely loose folds of your life.
I read that you have tried to give your mother hints that you do not like this - but you have spoken to her and really explained how it is? That is to say that you strongly dislike and feel uncomfortable that she follows you and your spouse as she does?
She is over involved in your life and it becomes like an invasion to you / you. Your mother will be boundless and it feels uncomfortable for you.
The reasons that she is doing so this can be many. She is alone and she fills her life with interfering in your life and thus fill an emptiness? She feels outside contexts and through social media found a platform in which she perceives to be with and listen to? Has she become as absorbed and addicted to constantly be up to date with?
You have a close relationship, type, and therefore she might not understand that she crossed the border for what you feel comfortable with? She may feel that your close relationship just continues onto social media in place.
The best way to get this to end is to talk to your mom and tell you exactly how it feels to you and ask her to leave you in peace on social media.
You'll probably spend some time to explain to her exactly how you feel and why it's inconvenient for you. The clearer you are, the greater the opportunity for you to be alone.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
I am a girl who is the center of my life, and now has a mother who is overactive in social media. In the beginning, I experienced it as funny that my mom found new ways to communicate with family and friends but it has totally derailed. She always phone currently picking diligently with it even when we have coffee and socialize. It's almost like she was competing to "like" the most.
We have always had a close relationship and have been able to share life's joys and sorrows. Mom has always respected my privacy and never intruded on my friends and colleagues - until she became active in social media. Now it's like that all latches released. She is everything I write, commenting on whatever topic and "like" everything I post. Often the mother in such a hurry to comment that she did not even read what it is about, this leads to strange comments and posts that are not relevant and that create tense atmosphere. It should be added that the mother can not really read the nuances of the language and ironic undertones. It often become just embarrassing.
I myself am not super active but would like to write more. I love to debate and discuss with my friends. Now I draw me to write because I know that it only takes a minute before mother "liked" or commented on.
My friends and other family has begun noticed this and it happens that when I write something or share a picture, wondering how long it will take this time before mamsen go.
On a few occasions I have tried to talk to my mom about this, but she does not seem to understand my waves. I really do not have to block her because I know how hurt she would be. It feels like this prevent me in my own life, I feel hunted.
We have discussed this at home but we do not know how to handle it. Mom has begun to follow my husband with almost the same frenzy. I myself have children in adulthood, active in social media. I commented only that dirrekt move our family, me or at such birthdays.
It has always been important to my kids have their own space, I penetrate me, but is there anyway. It's important to talk about, we face to face and not via social media. They have the right to discuss things with their friends, but I put myself in, the right to privacy. It has also, but I do not know how I'm going to get my mother to understand it?
With kind regards and many thanks in advance for your life coach.
Elisabeth
Hi Elisabeth
Your sense is that you are being chased by your mother. You feel that she indiscriminately follow you on social media and that she remotely loose folds of your life.
I read that you have tried to give your mother hints that you do not like this - but you have spoken to her and really explained how it is? That is to say that you strongly dislike and feel uncomfortable that she follows you and your spouse as she does?
She is over involved in your life and it becomes like an invasion to you / you. Your mother will be boundless and it feels uncomfortable for you.
The reasons that she is doing so this can be many. She is alone and she fills her life with interfering in your life and thus fill an emptiness? She feels outside contexts and through social media found a platform in which she perceives to be with and listen to? Has she become as absorbed and addicted to constantly be up to date with?
You have a close relationship, type, and therefore she might not understand that she crossed the border for what you feel comfortable with? She may feel that your close relationship just continues onto social media in place.
The best way to get this to end is to talk to your mom and tell you exactly how it feels to you and ask her to leave you in peace on social media.
You'll probably spend some time to explain to her exactly how you feel and why it's inconvenient for you. The clearer you are, the greater the opportunity for you to be alone.
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-06
2016-07-05
Wisdom words and quotes of: Do not worry about those who talk behind your back They are behind you for a reason
 |
| Wisdom words and quotes of: Do not worry about those who talk behind your back They are behind you for a reason |
Do not worry about those who talk behind your back
They are behind you for a reason
By author / writer Mr Chris Savage
You can ask and send in your questions to me here! And You can also follow me the Mr Chris Savage as Mental Health Life Coach Therapist and Artist, Author, Photographer, Writer on my various social media channels here.
2016-07-04
2016-07-01
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