Why can I become suddenly very impulsive and so extremely rude to people in my environment?

Hello

I am a social and happy woman in the 40. Have a partner and two small children. For the most part I am a happy, friendly and helpful person. I'm incredibly social, I need to hang out with friends and I like people. But sometimes I suddenly reversed and turned into a nasty person with a horrible attitude. And it often strikes quite strangers on the street or in the shops.

Situations that trigger this, if I see injustice, or if things do not go as planned or if staff do wrong. Then I can be very impulsive and nasty.

I always have to say things to people, I is straight to the point and can not keep his mouth. It just jumps out, I can not let what happened pass.

Additionally, when I criticize or say things I can sound very rude, angry and as people say "aggressive". If the person I meet is calm and try to understand me, everything ends well. But if it is a bit the same as me, Then it can degenerate into terrible trouble. I become more and more agitated and trapped in a tunnel and do not care about what happens around.

I have tried to do differently, and received advice from family and friends. For example, I tried to count to ten, I have tried not to bother me and let the events pass. But nothing helps, I may as well not control me.

I have received several reprimands at work right for the response against colleagues in other departments when I tried to point out their mistakes. All I want is that people learn from their mistakes and not repeat them again. But it does not so good sometimes.

Those who already know me know how I am and we are laughing at me and how I am sometimes. But those who do not know me will surely shock.

I am aware of how I am, but do not know how I can help myself. Please help me!

Saya


Hello Saya

I can understand that you will be amazed about yourself and how you suddenly can become. From that usually be a kind and thoughtful person you can without notice yourself getting aggressive and nasty. It's like it's not you, that is the person you want to be and who you want to see you.

But even the part that jumps out sometimes you are - even if a part that you do not appreciate, and you do not understand.

We all have different parts within us. It is absolutely as it should. The more contact we have with our different subpersonalities the better and the easier it will be for us. We do not know our different personalities, they live their own life just as you describe. We may find that we suddenly gets taken over by something we do not recognize.

It's a part of you that becomes extremely riled up when you face injustice, when things do not turn out as you intended, or a professional person doing wrong. Then pull the unpleasant started and want to educate and bring order.

Who is this that you react? To be able to deal with your concern, it is good if you can get to know this part of yourself that you would rather shunned. But then happens the opposite, namely, that it really lives its own life and rule the roost in a way that you do not like.

So who is this part of you that goes off at these times? Have you been the victim of injustice as a child? Do you need a lot of control? How do you feel within yourself before you react with anger?

Try to capture the emotion and understand you based on it. It is the clue that leads further and deepen insights into the angry part of you.

Another thing you can think about is where that part goes when the anger subsided. Maybe you can be in contact with it right now and understand its motivations, function and purpose. Who is she who wants to bring order and do it with anger and aggression?

Good luck whit your journey.

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